h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*Knocks proffered drink back in one. Smoke rises from ears, eyes and several other orifices*

Not bad, but a fraction more Santraginean Sea-water would improve it.

*Slides slowly to floor with strange expression on face*

BTW God, how many times do I have to say this I am not a medic. It's a D.Phil

* notices the Doctor is still standing, all the 'other' carbon based lifeforms he had previously offered it to, tending to go firstly catatonic, then later insane. Well, at least no-one will know if the second eventuates *

Come on, I KNOW your history. Being a proctologist is nothing to be ashamed of in the enlightened 00's...oh naughties...

~~~~~~~~ Oh...! Feeling rather strange. Oh, bugger. It's just taking effect~~~~~~~

* In the mind's-eye of his majesty, things start to congeal like fatty bacon streaking down walls, the walls begin to ignore all codes of established etiquette and 'wibble' about, chanting something about 'death to all renovators'. The floor begins remonstrate with itself over the duality of floors and ceilings, and how they are interchangable in a multi-story Universe, if only they had consciousness. Therefore, starting with first principles of the I think, therefore I am, it determines to make up for years of inactivity. Donuts begin to force their way into his mind, demanding to know where the doughy bit in the middle went.

* The ethereal one passes out on the floor *

- (Well what did you expect from him in this state - perfection ?)

*Dr J stands upright. Takes flask from God's hand and refills metallic container*

Thank Brownie, I studied a little pharmacology (unofficially)

* At this stage, my master would like to say *

" "...

*Weaves unsteadily up to the big G.*

Say, wha's the question ennyway? We know the answer is 42, so wha's the question? You should know 'cause you invented it all. Hey! God!

* groans, looks up at the Mari-Raes, mumbles something about Berocca *

Look...It's just a fabrication...by Douglas Adams...You know, the guy who works...for the 'other side'...

- .....

Two beers, or not two beers. There is no question.

Nice looking party, mind if I join in?
*grabs a bottle of whiskey from the bar and pours it into a pint glass*
Congrats greebo!
*downs pint in one*
'hic'

*wonders why God has refered to him as "relatively" sober, as he hasn't had anything stronger than coffee* I didn't even see the guitar, Lord, I swear! Besides, if I had, I would have been doing a romantic ballad or something, none of the folk stuff you abhor.

~Irving

*looks doubtful*

Well, it's all pointless, now. Apparently he hates Rock music, too!

CONGRATULATIONS GREEBO!!!
*drinks a toast and gives Greebo a big hug*

Sorry I'm late (as usual). Where is the guest of honour? *looks low to the ground for the precious Greebs. Finds her curled up behind the bar.* Looks like she needs a few doughnuts. *waves a fresh blueberry doughnut under the comatose cat's nose. She instantly revives and starts handing out drinks again.* Coely, I brought you a bran muffin. I've got $100 (Canadian) that says you can make the swim. Greebo, Congratulations! Oh, thanks for the drink.

Make mine another pint of rum pleash! May I try some of Gods shtuff while I'm at it? Do youse think that itsh will mix well with rum?
shazz

I think everything goes with rum. How's God's stuff taste? It seems to have quite the punch, and rum goes beautifully with punch. May i have a little nip, too?

I don't know, but if it can put an omnipotent, omniscient imortal out cold on the floor, perhaps you'd better lay off...

~Irving

That's what makes it so inviting.

*straggles in dripping with Jello*

Don't ask.

Did I hear somebody say God brought a bottle? I've got some Moët here I think.. *looks around*