male survival for clothes and lingerie shopping with women
Created | Updated Jan 21, 2005
Now most men have a firm interest in bra's or at least in the contents of them but few men have ever been with women while they purchased these items and believe me it is a bizarre and nightmarish experience.
Let begin with the basic.
When you are going out with a girl you are often expect to perform many task for her. Such as notice when her hair is changed or to protect her from large and dangerous mice. But one of the more interesting roles is the personal escort and cargo carrier which is involved with clothes shopping.
Some men are dragged here with their girlfriends find to difficult to refuse a woman going please, please and please.
However this is the appropriate action that should be taken to avoid such calamities if you are a man who loathes shopping with women.
1. Run, run as fast a gravity will allow until your legs explode with exhaustion
2. Fake blindness, that way you are little use, but could back fire if they want you to feel fabrics.
3. Fake a medical condition. Can work but is temporary
4. Act like an arrogant male, wrecks friendships but sometimes only choice
5. Passive resistance. Stand out front of shop and refuse to move an inch inside. Work rather well and is very common however remember this is a very physically demand method.
6. Sucide. Bit over kill. But for a single man in the lingerie department with two girls he isn't involved with asking them if they like her in that g-string on her is sometimes a better option.
Well if you ready this far you failed step one. So you’re trapped. It clothes shopping with women. Some men may find this bring, other terrifying but it is a fantastic excuse to stare at their breasts.
However it is painful. Especially you make the wrong move, as most women when they drag men clothes shopping want male advice, now men know that they have so bad questions. Here are some tips for surviving.
Classic question, does my bum (butt, bottom or arse) look big in this?
Hmm now instinctively you would say no. but however think about. They are depending on your advice. So if it an obvious lie say something, I don't think it suit you. It honest, kind, not an insult to her but the clothes, it will get you out of almost any situation like that and require little effort.
What do you think of this? Remember insult the clothes not the wearer and all will be well.
So if you just say the truth you should survive as long as you’re tactful.
now the process for women clothes shopping is long and exhausting however you can turn it to your advantage as how often will a girl ask you to stare at her breasts, butt or thighs and you can consider this a "favour" and may ask for some sort of return unless your like me and have a terminal case of niceness
know problems with clothes shopping
Some times you have problem weight you don't know the truth because you have no opinion in fashion. Say. "I think you need a second opinion." and point to someone like a sales assistant is a good tactic (also chance to run)
Clothes identification. Just some notes, Long belts are called short skirts. And long tops are short dresses. Just in case you have the same problems in identification of clothing types
the counter attack.
Women dragging men into men clothing stores.
This is far worse than women clothing as the treat you like some giant ken doll for their own private amusement. This experience is about three times longer as you have no idea what on earth you like so they wish to try anything. the experience is like been on queer eye for the straight guy just a lot longer and more defaming without the television rating.
The first time this is done it is horrific for you feel like you with your mother at a clothing store when you little. Advice to avoid this.
1. Rapidly gain weight so only custom clothes are available
2. Run
3. Become a nudist
4. Have no money. Backfires if they just want to dress you up for fun and have no intention to pay.
Advice. Know the size of your clothes to avoid them looking down your pants to check. Be fast in the change room to avoid them looking in on you. Walk like you normally walk. Don’t be offended when they fondle your clothes, do what they say and no one get hurt.
Actually trust women fashion advice is very beneficial. As you are trying to attract women and they know what they like. Much better than gay men as they are trying to attract other gay men.
This experience is nightmarish and painful but try to turn it to your advantage and just relax and see it all part of the fun. How often do you get a sexy lady to say you have nice shoulder or I like your butt?
The 7th layer of hell
Bra shopping
same escape rules apply as the first set but it will take much more will power as if a women want you to go bra shopping they must really trust you or like you.
Once you’re in the section you'll feel as comfortable as a priest in a gay bar. Understandably so. most guy know what a bra is and how it works so just follow the same rules as before but with more changes.
1. Drooling is not an acceptable answer
2. When one ask you to feel the martial and say "yes very nice." anything else is unnecessary but try not to lie as they do have traps.
3. If you feel uncomfortable try one of three things, act gay, act like a girl in drag or make joke about it. That helps.
4. If the sales assistant comes over says he can't be here and the girl defend using the "he's gay" excuse. Just roll with it. They know you straight if they just look down.
5. Men are forbidden in the change room or to give the opinion of what the women wearing. However women have actually asked for this. Carefully control your shock and say something nice.
6. Men don't touch unless asked.
7 never ask their bra size, you'll find out soon enough or through deduction.
8. Relax, if your there with them they must trust you and try to made the most of it. Bra shopping can be fun especially if you are force into the change rooms. But if you’re too sacred and nervous. Then do as this article recommends and you'll have a lingerie feeling free day
Advice from experience by your local eccentric genius and philosophiser
Robert wells
Let begin with the basic.
When you are going out with a girl you are often expect to perform many task for her. Such as notice when her hair is changed or to protect her from large and dangerous mice. But one of the more interesting roles is the personal escort and cargo carrier which is involved with clothes shopping.
Some men are dragged here with their girlfriends find to difficult to refuse a woman going please, please and please.
However this is the appropriate action that should be taken to avoid such calamities if you are a man who loathes shopping with women.
1. Run, run as fast a gravity will allow until your legs explode with exhaustion
2. Fake blindness, that way you are little use, but could back fire if they want you to feel fabrics.
3. Fake a medical condition. Can work but is temporary
4. Act like an arrogant male, wrecks friendships but sometimes only choice
5. Passive resistance. Stand out front of shop and refuse to move an inch inside. Work rather well and is very common however remember this is a very physically demand method.
6. Sucide. Bit over kill. But for a single man in the lingerie department with two girls he isn't involved with asking them if they like her in that g-string on her is sometimes a better option.
Well if you ready this far you failed step one. So you’re trapped. It clothes shopping with women. Some men may find this bring, other terrifying but it is a fantastic excuse to stare at their breasts.
However it is painful. Especially you make the wrong move, as most women when they drag men clothes shopping want male advice, now men know that they have so bad questions. Here are some tips for surviving.
Classic question, does my bum (butt, bottom or arse) look big in this?
Hmm now instinctively you would say no. but however think about. They are depending on your advice. So if it an obvious lie say something, I don't think it suit you. It honest, kind, not an insult to her but the clothes, it will get you out of almost any situation like that and require little effort.
What do you think of this? Remember insult the clothes not the wearer and all will be well.
So if you just say the truth you should survive as long as you’re tactful.
now the process for women clothes shopping is long and exhausting however you can turn it to your advantage as how often will a girl ask you to stare at her breasts, butt or thighs and you can consider this a "favour" and may ask for some sort of return unless your like me and have a terminal case of niceness
know problems with clothes shopping
Some times you have problem weight you don't know the truth because you have no opinion in fashion. Say. "I think you need a second opinion." and point to someone like a sales assistant is a good tactic (also chance to run)
Clothes identification. Just some notes, Long belts are called short skirts. And long tops are short dresses. Just in case you have the same problems in identification of clothing types
the counter attack.
Women dragging men into men clothing stores.
This is far worse than women clothing as the treat you like some giant ken doll for their own private amusement. This experience is about three times longer as you have no idea what on earth you like so they wish to try anything. the experience is like been on queer eye for the straight guy just a lot longer and more defaming without the television rating.
The first time this is done it is horrific for you feel like you with your mother at a clothing store when you little. Advice to avoid this.
1. Rapidly gain weight so only custom clothes are available
2. Run
3. Become a nudist
4. Have no money. Backfires if they just want to dress you up for fun and have no intention to pay.
Advice. Know the size of your clothes to avoid them looking down your pants to check. Be fast in the change room to avoid them looking in on you. Walk like you normally walk. Don’t be offended when they fondle your clothes, do what they say and no one get hurt.
Actually trust women fashion advice is very beneficial. As you are trying to attract women and they know what they like. Much better than gay men as they are trying to attract other gay men.
This experience is nightmarish and painful but try to turn it to your advantage and just relax and see it all part of the fun. How often do you get a sexy lady to say you have nice shoulder or I like your butt?
The 7th layer of hell
Bra shopping
same escape rules apply as the first set but it will take much more will power as if a women want you to go bra shopping they must really trust you or like you.
Once you’re in the section you'll feel as comfortable as a priest in a gay bar. Understandably so. most guy know what a bra is and how it works so just follow the same rules as before but with more changes.
1. Drooling is not an acceptable answer
2. When one ask you to feel the martial and say "yes very nice." anything else is unnecessary but try not to lie as they do have traps.
3. If you feel uncomfortable try one of three things, act gay, act like a girl in drag or make joke about it. That helps.
4. If the sales assistant comes over says he can't be here and the girl defend using the "he's gay" excuse. Just roll with it. They know you straight if they just look down.
5. Men are forbidden in the change room or to give the opinion of what the women wearing. However women have actually asked for this. Carefully control your shock and say something nice.
6. Men don't touch unless asked.
7 never ask their bra size, you'll find out soon enough or through deduction.
8. Relax, if your there with them they must trust you and try to made the most of it. Bra shopping can be fun especially if you are force into the change rooms. But if you’re too sacred and nervous. Then do as this article recommends and you'll have a lingerie feeling free day
Advice from experience by your local eccentric genius and philosophiser
Robert wells
