h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

* HE has come to the point of the night where the laws of drinking vast amounts of alcohol in a physical form, invariably leads one on a less than Magical Mystery Tour, to find the famed ‘Little Boys Room’, although it completely confounds my master as to how such a name came about - because of the age limits barring minors from consuming alcohol. *

* HE stagers on, leading him down a flight of stairs. At the point of almost giving up, HE unfortunately loses his footing, tumbling deep into the darkness of the room below *

* After rubbing his head, he procures a match from his vestments. Upon lighting it, the glimmer of many shiny objects can be seen. Doing the spatial equations in his head, he comes up with the name of this dark, dank place - the Wine Cellar *

HE looked around, and everything was good...

* A slight worry broke through his excitable state - What to do about the excess bladder baggage. If HE paced himself, the sum total of the liquid in the Wine Cellar might never change *

Well, they use wine to denote MY blood in church services...

Care for ‘one of the other’ drinks fellow lost soul ?

- Simply, High Spirited.

* Sitting looking a little dishevelled after a week alone, HE has managed to find a small ripped party hat, which now sits with pride of place on his celestial head *

253 Green Bottles, empty on the floor !!! 253 Green Bottles, empty on the floor !!!

* a wizen old man sits alone singing a merry sea shanty (...the one about the mermaid & how having a fish tail doesn't necessarily rule out ALL the options in the seductions stakes) *

* a distinct glimmer can be seen emanating from the darkened rooms floor *

* Hiccup ! *

Seven Hundred...and seventy sixxx...er...multi-coloured bottleeesssss, arre emmmpppttyy on the floor...

* Hiccup ! *

Blimey, where has number Seven hundred and Seventy-Seven gone ... ?

* HE suddenly starts shuddering, knowing that the full, horrible realisation is about to cause through his neural cortex without so much as a cursory hello... *

Oh Myself ! I've drunk the cellar dry !!!

* It roughly about this stage sobriety leaps from its hiding place in the darkened room... *

TBC...

- Moving in Mysterious Ways.

* M.K places a idol down byside GOD, which is inscribed with 'Survivor Immunity Challenge Idol'...

M.K*

Hi, God. I hope you don't mind, but I'd better get this back to base camp.

Hi, God. I hope you don't mind, but I'd better get this back to base camp.

God??? God???? Is that you???

* HE is woken by a lot of unnecessary purring... *

* Honestly, even the field mice on the rafters are scuttling far to noisily... *

* HE lifts his head from his stained wine red robes, his torn party hat left dangling over his eyes... *

Is That You Greebo ?

- Simply, High Spirited.

Oh tis you... ~happy grin~... what are you doing in the cellar Oh Cuddly One????