EvilClaw's House of Fun and Stuff
Created | Updated Oct 10, 2004
The house is infused with part of EvilClaw's twisted psyche and his reality bending field as a result of him living here. It can and will defend itself from intrusion.
Downstairs
Hall
The hall is big and spacious. In fact listen: "Echo".... "echo." Besides being big, the hall is also very very empty. The only things to mention are the hall closet and the umbrella basket. The basket is for depositing umbrellas, weapons, tribute, ect. when entering the house. I don't know why I bothered telling you about the hall. Its a waste of time really. Maybe the kitchen will make up for it...
Hall Closet
Inside the closet where you would expect to see coats or jackets or something there is instead a vast nothingness. The closet leads directly to a interdimensional vortex which is a shortcut from the closet to EvilClaw's office.
Bathroom
Don't even bother. I'm serious. Do not go in there. This room is unbelievably foul! It hasn't been cleaned since the sixties even though it was built long after that. The bottom line:
"Abandon all hope ye who enter here."
Kitchen
The kitchen is a happy place! To sate EvilClaw's ginormous appetite its stocked with a wide variety of food and drinks. Most of which get ignored as EvilClaw goes straight for the pizza and tea. But feel free to help yourself to flan, cupcakes, donuts, a stiff drink, orange juice, or coffee.
Living Room
Hmmmm.... This room has a TV. Thats pretty much all it has going for it. And videogames! Yay!
Stairs
They're stairs. What did you expect? A blue whale? Thats upstairs in the stuff room.
Upstairs
Stuff Room
Well I said there was a stuff room so I guess I HAVE to tell you about it. Well amonsgt other things there is a blue whale which I definitly did not steal from a zoo. Nope definitly not. Nope. Other things in here include 1.) Half the known universe, and 2.) My cat (sometimes).
EvilClaw's Room
This room is really empty and dark. And empty. And dark. The sole item in this room is a mattress with a pillow. The walls, floor, and ceiling are painted black lending an artificial darkness to the whole thing. Occasionally spectres can be seen blinking in and out of existence in the darkness. One can only assume they are linked to EvilClaw's psyche somehow. Oh and there's a nightlight plugged into the only outlet. With a black bulb.
Bathroom #21
Theres also a sign: DO NOT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES, EVEN AN EMERGENCY, ENTER.
Basement
Normally you'd expect a boiler and some boxes full of crap that haven't seen daylight for years to be in a basement. Well I have got a boiler. The rest of the basement is filled by several portals that can be used to instantly transport someone to a different location. Above the portals the name of the destination eerily glows. The portals go to the following places:
