h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I like this very much. It is moving because it is real (and perhaps because it is about something we know we may have to face ourselves), and it is effectively arranged, with the real state of things being revealed by the arrival of Phyllis.
Two things. The phantom men aren't Alan, so do you think they are really needed in this story (I understand that they were probably part of the real experience)? And I think you don't need the sentence in the last paragraph that explains that Maggie had been looking for Alan since he died; that all became clear when you told us that Alan is in the hereafter.
But it's a great story.

Glad you like it

It's a true story so the phantom men are absolutely needed. It was the worst part of the poor old lady's dementia. The Phyllis character was my aunt and the Maggie character was her life-long friend. She went through this same terror just about every day - losing Alan, being stalked by these men that she saw lurking around inside her house and out in the garden. My aunt had to keep going through the house with her to prove they weren't there, checking in beds, under beds, behind curtains, in cupboards. I was trying to convey the constant, repeated shock of discovery, the fear, the loneliness and the worry caused by confusion. Alzheimers is far too real for comfort.