h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Entry: Artemis Fowl - A2655119
Author: Luthiena - viEna, the cat, cared for by lil old me.....Rock is dead - long live paper and scissors - U553748

A bit different from my last two but so is the next one I'm writing. This is still a work-in-progress so comments and criticisms are welcomed

It's interesting, and accurate as far as I remeber. But a few bits of SPG and things that might make it look better:

You may want to turn the headings into actually headings or subheadings (possibly the former, then use the character's names as subheadings in that section)

I think that "who's" should be "whose" when describing Artemis' parents. You might want to put "presumed dead" in brackets as well.

Wouldn't the IQ reference be better linked to Einstein or something? I don't think that that they had IQ tests in the 18th century, and Einstein was probably more intelligent anyway. Also, I think the comma in that sentence may be better as a semi-colon.

You probably should explain rather early on about "The People" and the fact the books contain fairies and stuff - your current first mention is that Holly is a member of the LEP and she "battles" for the safety of the People - not very clear to someone who hasn't read the books.

In the description of the second book, the first sentence again should have a semi-colon rather than a comma, and in the middle, with the sentence beginning "Holly immediately suspects...", after the comma there should be a "but" or something.

At the start of the description of the third book, I'm not sure if the second sentence makes sense - the "crminal masterminding plans" bit.

Also, you may want to mention the short story he wrote for World Book Day, "The Seventh Dwarf", which was written after book 3, but fits between (I think) the first and second books. And you may also want to mention the little codes at the bootom of the second two main books.

But otherwise I think it looks good.

Thanks a lot...that is great stuff. I will make the changes you have suggested except for the Seventh Dwarf one because I am afraid i haven't read it

Hi Luthiena!

You're not really supposed to put works in progress into Peer Review. It is supposed to be for works that you consider to be finished. The Writing Workshop is for works in progress. But we'll forgive you this once.

Unfortunately, there is already an entry in the Edited Guide on Artemis Fowl A994791. The only way we can accept your one is if it is compementary to the existing one, describing some other aspect of Artemis Fowl. This means that you will have to rewrite it considerably.

Ok, is there any way to take it out of Peer Review?

Or, seeing as that one is from before the third book, you could propose this one as an update. It'll just probably have to include as much detail as that one.

Alternatively, you could try taking the existing one, and adding info that has appeared in the third book (and The Seventh Dwarf if you can get hold of it), then submitting it to the Update forum.

In either case, you should ask the author of the previous article first.

If you really do want to remove this one, then just go onto Peer Review main page and press the Remove link next to your article.

Right, I might do that in a bit. Bit busy at the moment.