Libraries and Books

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What some people really asked at the library.

Library books on a shelf
Do you have books here?"

"Do you have a list of all the books I've ever read?"

"Where is the reference desk?"

This was asked of a person sitting at a desk who had hanging above her head a sign saying "REFERENCE DESK"!

"I was here about three weeks ago looking at a cookbook that cost $39.95. Do you know which one it is?"

"Which outlets in the library are appropriate for my hairdryer?"

"Can you tell me why so many famous Civil War battles were fought on National Park Sites?"

"Do you have any books with photographs of dinosaurs?"

"I need a color photograph of George Washington [Christopher Columbus, King Arthur, Moses, Socrates, etc.]"

"Is the basement upstairs?" (Asked at First Floor Reference Desk)

Books Ordered

ProcrastinationThere are people who process book orders that people have placed by mail. Sometimes, the books ordered tell a whole story themselves!

One order for two books-

1. "How To Win Every Argument"

2. "Conversations with God"

Another order-

"For My Only True Love"

Note-please send three copies

Last order for four books-

"Getting Along with Mean People"

"How Not To Be Mean"

"How To Stay Lovers for Life"-two copies please

World's shortest books...

Michel de Montaigne pictured on a scroll next to a quill
  • 'Things I Wouldn't Do for Money' by Dennis Rodman
  • 'The Book of Virtue' by Bill Clinton
  • 'Human Rights Advances in China'
  • 'My Plan to Find the Real Killers' by O.J. Simpson
  • 'Amelia Earhart's Guide to the Pacific Ocean'
  • 'America's Most Popular Lawyers'
  • 'Career Opportunities for Art History Majors'
  • 'Detroit - A Travel Guide'
  • 'Beauty Tips' by Roseanne
  • 'Dr. Kevorkian's Collection of Motivational Speeches'

    (subtitled 'The Power of Positive Thinking')
  • 'Ethiopian Tips on World Dominance and Fine Dining'
  • 'Everything Men Know About Women'
  • 'French Hospitality'
  • '101 Spotted Owl Recipes' by the U.S. EPA
  • 'Dining in the Ring' by Mike Tyson
  • 'The Amish Phone Book'
So Long And Thanks For Laughing

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