Q. So God, what made you have the idea of creating the world in the first place?
A. It is something which has always interested me - sort of living art - I had done lots of stars, black holes, comets, etc, but I felt that there was something missing, I needed to do something more dynamic, something new.
Q. So the world is some sort of art?
A. Well, yes. It looks good on the mantelpiece, guests always comment about it and it helps break the ice at dinner parties.
Q. But what about the human race, violence, religion, politics and so on?
A. I made the mistake of putting in Adam and Eve before the op. They were worse than rabbits. I am a busy man, have an empire to run so to speak, I went away on a business trip and when I returned I found the place infested with humans. I was going to get rid of them, but a friend of mine reckoned that it was even more interesting as a self-generating art work. You know, like those screensavers you can get. So I enclosed it in a large glass bowl to keep in the smell and let it run.
Q. What does the future hold for mankind?
A. Depends on the wife (and her interior decorator). She wants to use the space on the mantelpiece for a colourful cosmic ray display which she bought a few thousand years ago. You know women, when they get the decorating bug in their heads.
Q. So, we are just... what are we... I cannot understand... what is the meaning of life...?
A. Don't ask me, I am an artist not a bloody critic.
Follow up story: Interview with the Devil.
Q. I hear that you too have a world of your own
A. Look, I have been around a lot longer than God; it gets on my nerves that he gets all the credit. I started working on the idea years before; I think he saw it on a visit to my workshop and stole it.
Look at the mess he has made with it! My world has no violence, stress, etc. Just full of healthy sex orgies. Twice a week I throw in some food and wine and they just get on with enjoying themselves (bit like keeping fish or rabbits).
I admit my world is a bit more primitive - they haven't even invented the wheel yet - but let's face it, with all that drinking, eating and shagging going on there just isn't the time.
Q. So other worlds do exist in the universe?
A. Not in the universe you idiot, I keep it in my backyard.