Meet Mr Inquisitor [Redux]

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Meet Mr Inquisitor [Redux]

Hello faithful readers, and welcome to the glorious return of Meet Mr Inquisitor [Redux]! Unfortunately, my perfectly chiselled stony frame was in the great outside over Easter, and as such I was in no position to hunt down my latest prey... I mean, erm, interviewee. So now, with no further ado let me present the mysterious, elusive, and ever reluctant HPB, writer of the Post's least read column1'Small Screen Surfin'!'

So then HPB, you asked to be featured in my column because 'I keep mentioning you'. That's not entirely true now is it? I mean, I hardly ever mention you. Anyway, question the first is a devilish one from the depths of my mind...

Sonic 2's final boss 2 would easily defeat Optimus Prime, leader of the autobots. Discuss.

Well probably Optimus Prime, he's faster and all he'd have to do is jump on the other guy's head...

Well, a man of few words you are HPB. Ok, onto the more 'serious' questioning that I have fiendishly devised for you. So lets start at the top, what does HPB actually stand for?

It stands for Hologrammatically Projected Back-up... created for the Red Dwarf RPG here as part of the BHPU which is described on my space.

It used to be the Discworld's Pythonist which was just something to use since I though my old leisure district name had ACE in it.

You do know that 'Hologrammatically' isn't a word don't you? It should be 'Holographically'. Anyway, you're pretty much the master of the RPG here on h2g2 aren't you, what with the Red Dwarf RPG and the Star Wars RPG, both run by yourself. Do you have anything to say on the subject3?

I don't run the Red Dwarf rpg! That's AJ Rimmer... currently Commander Ace Rimmer. I was the first to leap over from the first 'Red Dwarf' though since I joined that about a week before it was to be revamped.

But the Jedi Academy's all mine. Basically I wanted an RPG that was easy to use and you didn't just spend your going ::like this:: and your role consisting of ::You let him punch you::. I wanted to see an rpg that was 1/ free and 2/ told a story.

So I came up with a Dragonball Z rpg idea since the basics were there ie character, situation etc. and began on that... which was difficult because I couldn't work the system and decided that it wasn't well known enough and its story rehashes itself every 30 episodes or so.

THEN it became the Academy and in July 2003 I began the Academy elements - padawan to Jedi to knight to master plus a few adaptations of Jedi Outcast (a Star Wars game) to know how you could whittle down the Force powers into less enigmatic abilities. And tried to built the Academy as fast as possible as my interest in these lasted about a week.
As such I asked around and got 6 or people to help who became the Council... gave them the username/password... then did all myself except for the link to the join-up thread.That was Rimmer, I was still on digibox then.

It was originally supposed to a Star Wars farce thing (hence Master Puppet which for some reason took people three months to figure it was Yoda) and still is to some extend but now its evolved into a more faithful continuation of the books.

Even though it isn't science-fiction in a sense, the genre lets you do anything you want within reason. Although (NOVEL SPOILER) Coruscant is effectively destroyed in all but planet by the Yuuzhan Vong in the New Jedi Order series, there's no reason, providing you set the game in the future, why our Coruscant wasn't rebuilt. And who's to say they didn't use a different planet. After all, we've got a Supreme Chancellor where there should be Head of State.

Well, anyone half way through the books is tearing out their hair and plotting your death. The shift from farce to force is something I've noticed in my Jedi-ing, is there any particular reason for the shift do you reckon?

It was either through a case of natural progression... or me moaning about how something can't be done it the basics of Star Wars... I just like things to be right even with the evolution that takes place.

It's also the adapting that's had to compensated for, for the 15 plus members who were walking in and out. Something you have to let go to keep... the balance as it were... but those events that I'm not seeing are changing which all play a part in a larger story. Cause and effect. That's a reason why I'm dead... to be able to watch over instead of being the integral part of the early Academy where I threw out plot devices. Now 'students' are doing it for themselves which they pass on to the newer players. We're practically on the verge of making a Knight a master where the master position was kept for the Council who keep the game running... More often than not you have to move along instead of whining about the Force or if there's tea... and those are nothing to do with me!

Well, that explains that mystery. You may well have gotten away with the totalitarian state if it hadn't been for those meddling kids! So what's your take on the whole digibox shenanigan, seeing as you very nearly got caught up in it all?

Erm... all I can say is that a large part of the h2g2 community was made up of digiboxers and most were here for a year or more.

It was the result a collective who were prejudiced against all digiboxers because they came across posts that they didn't like who HAPPENED to be on a digibox. Apparently the Internet doesn't have people that are obscene etc outside of a digibox connection. If they had a problem with the morality of how digiboxers got online then they could have done something when it first happened. It's a hypocrisy...

I wasn't really affected but I couldn't do Small Screen Surfin' since my pc got a virus and it was away to fixed... tragedy!

That could be seen as, erm, controversial. Anyway, my next question is about your new hobby. Flash movies. How's that coming along?

Meh, I wouldn't call it a hobby since I've only got it for 30 days max. It is, however, ridiculously hard work... and my first flash movie shall now go down as history on my computer... along with the 150 votes that sent it away and the 7 or so 'reviews' that didn't particularly like it...

For example 'I think this just sucked, and WAY too short man...' which is short and to the point. Anyway, as is traditional since before I took on the role of inquisitor, the final question is this; What's the most important thing you've learned through being a member of h2g2?

I learned that the world don't move to the beat - oh wait that's Awix...

No I've learned that the licence payers' lets me say what I want to say as long as I'm nice about... and it's better than Club Reps.

*COUGH* Read Small Screen Surfin' *COUGH*


So, thanks to HPB. In the pipeline I have interviews with the irreverent tea monster known as Jack Russell, and with one of the most famous Scouts the volunteer system has produced; Number Six.

If you want to join the hallowed band of those (un)lucky enough to brave my random questioning drop Shazz4 a line using this email form.

Until next time, I've been Mr Inquisitor. Auf Weidersen!

Meet Mr Inquisitor Archive


with HPB

29.04.04 Front Page

Back Issue Page

1Or so he claims, I'm sure nobody reads MMI[R] or AD's DVDs.2Dr Robotnik's massive stampy robot thingy3Which is, incidentally, the most mentioned part of h2g2 in this hallowed column.4Who never volunteers herself...

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