Smudger Snippets
Created | Updated Aug 9, 2007
I suppose it's because I have so much time on my hands these days that all these memories come flooding back to me.
Past Friends
I was on this site recently — well, I pop in every night, really, and have a look round. It was then I had a look through my 'Friends List' and I noticed that a few of them had left the site altogether. It was a strange feeling I had as I looked through their home pages, reading their old diary entries and stories. Sad, really, that they are no longer with us, but at one time they used to post away and keep us all up to date with what was happening in their lives. I suppose it is just the same as that in real life. People 'move on', as they call it, leaving behind their old friends and making new ones. It's funny in a way, as I can remember the two really close friends we had up north, where we used to live before moving down here with my job in the ambulance service. In fact, it was through my job that we first met them, as Helen (we will call her that, just for names' sake in this story) worked as an auxiliary as part of the double-manned ambulance crew on an A&E ambulance. I was already employed with the Service, while Helen was just part-time, along with another part-time auxiliary, which enabled us to have a double-manned ambulance crew twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week. The fact that we were auxiliaries meant that the cost of doing this was a lot cheaper, as then they only had one paramedic to pay full salary for — plus the fact that we did all standby hours from home, so this also meant that by paying us seventy-two pence an hour it was even more economical for them.
I had to undergo further training for this position, both in ambulance aid and driving, as we had to take over all driving as soon as we had a patient on board, and most of this driving would done in emergency mode. The only downside for me was the fact that I had to report for work the day after, even if we had been out on calls all night. Unfortunately, this happened more often than we would have liked, as it was quite common to be called out up to six times a night, even more at weekends. Anyway, as time went by, Helen became really good friends with my wife, as she would be in our house quite often handing over the emergency pager to me when it was my turn to be on standby. She was also divorced from her husband and going out with a new boyfriend (we will call him Tom), who was serving in the nearby RAF station. We all had something in common, as we had one of my wife's children from her first marriage living with us, and Tom was like a stepfather to Helen's two daughters. Tom also had a child from his first marriage whom he had won full custody of, and his mother, who lived nearby, looked after her grandson while Tom was at work. So we would get together during our off-duty hours for outing and the likes. In fact, we became a really tight unit, helping each other out when problems occurred. One of Helen's daughters was at that teenage time in her life where she wanted to rebel, and not having her real father close by at the time was a problem. So we all helped to see her through that tough time, as we had gone through the same thing with my wife's teenage son.
There were other problems that usually come along with second-time-round relationships, and only people who have gone through this will really understand what I mean, yet it seemed to bring us all closer together in a funny sort of way. We were a really close-knit group and we were always out as together. This went on for around three years, and then I got the opportunity of moving down south with my job, which meant we would be closer to all my wife's family, most importantly her other two children (well, not children, really, as they were more grown-up). This really cheered my wife up and Helen and Tim were well pleased with it as well. They had booked up a holiday to Canada, where Helen had an aunt living, and the plan was for us all to have our farewell night out upon their return.
Then, a few days after they had left on their holiday, I got word that my transfer date had been brought forward by a few weeks! This, of course, totally changed everything, and we had a lot to do and in a shorter time. So we ran around arranging for the house to be put up for sale, along with packing everything up. Of course we had no way of contacting Helen and Tom, as they were still on holiday, and we ended up moving out of our house, which was still not sold, about a week before they got back. In fact, it was a chaotic time for us, as anyone who has done this sort of thing will agree. So we never had much time to give them a call, or even let them know our new address for the first few days at least. Then one night when I came home from work, my wife was sitting there in tears, when I asked her what was wrong, she told me that she had phoned Helen earlier that day, and that Helen had slammed the phone down on her. It transpired as my wife continued with her story that Helen had been really upset that we never waited for them to return from their holiday before moving, even after my wife explained to her that it was the ambulance service that brought things forward, and we had no choice in the matter. So I tried to make her fell better by phoning her myself and explaining it all to her, but to my surprise I got the same response!
I could not believe it myself; I mean, we always knew that Helen was a bit domineering when it came to friendships and the like, as we had a few disagreements in the past, but these were soon forgotten and life returned back to normal in no time. It seemed like the friendship we had for all those years was gone in an instant, just like that. Sad really, that things come to that, but at the end of the day it's maybe better that way, as there is nothing worse than having a false friendship. That is the same as a married couple staying together just for the sake of the kids, and that never really works out either, as past experience by both of us has proved that point. Since our move down here, we have not made any real close friends as such, and I think in a way we were scared to at first, especially after that happening to us. Then again, we have no need, as we are surrounded by my wife's entire family down here, and believe me, there are enough of them, as she came from a family of fourteen! (Which means we can hardly go anywhere around here without bumping into at least some relation or other.)
I still think of Helen and Tom every now and then, and their children.
