Pets of the Cosmos

1 Conversation

#42 - Humans

You will need:

Pseudo-terran Environment with Type 4 Regulation:

  • Temperature : 120 °G ± 1%
  • Atmosphere : 80% N2, 20% O2
  • Pressure : 0.25 Galbar ± 2%
  • Gravity : 0.30 Gal-g*

Ask for E-MS Kit 9. Liquid phase H2O must be present

*Important! (and often forgotten) - without a compensator, your humans will be lethargic and may fail to adopt their proper bipedal posture.

These fascinating creatures have acquired the reputation of exotica, and are often assumed to be the exclusive domain of the specialist. Not so! Keeping pets as delicate as humans is never straightforward, but it can be immensely rewarding.

But Remember:

  • Humans are easily crushed
  • Never pick them up using your proboscis, as your breath will attack their flesh

The main investment in raising humans is in procuring a suitable environmentally-controlled enclosure. The animals themselves are relatively cheap and readily available.

Don't be dismayed by a high-initial death-rate!

With persistence, most collectors can establish a breeding colony.

Always:

Remove dead humans promptly, as their remains cause disease and may even give rise to emotional distress in survivors. (Once isolated, however, there is no need for immediate disposal. Necrophiles will find their unusual mode of decomposition interesting).

Things You Should Know About Humans:

  • Like other lifeforms from their system of origin (P3 of G112/06, Type B2Alpha), they are sexual breeders of simple type (two gender variants)
  • They communicate sonically
  • Primary sensory input through mid-spectrum visual stimulation
  • Secondary body-surface physical sensors
  • Physical/Chemical/Biological resilience all extremely low
  • Vestigial regenerative capacity
  • Minimal telepaths
  • Live-bearing (survival-rate typically ~ 20%)

Humans are edible. Recipes may be found on other pages.

The Pinniped Portfolio

Pinniped

22.04.04 Front Page

Back Issue Page


Bookmark on your Personal Space


Conversations About This Entry

Entry

A2548109

Infinite Improbability Drive

Infinite Improbability Drive

Read a random Edited Entry


Written by

Credits

Disclaimer

h2g2 is created by h2g2's users, who are members of the public. The views expressed are theirs and unless specifically stated are not those of the Not Panicking Ltd. Unlike Edited Entries, Entries have not been checked by an Editor. If you consider any Entry to be in breach of the site's House Rules, please register a complaint. For any other comments, please visit the Feedback page.

Write an Entry

"The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy is a wholly remarkable book. It has been compiled and recompiled many times and under many different editorships. It contains contributions from countless numbers of travellers and researchers."

Write an entry
Read more