h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Here's an entry of mine, Loonytünes:

http://www.h2g2.com/A476895

It's not top-class, but it will make you live top class (Ok, ok, there's more to it, but this a start), if you follow it's paradigm.

And, maybe that's most important, it contains something unique, which is very rarly found in books. That really sings.

Well, Lucinda, It's a wise choice to join h2g2, so...

"Pedantic ones know the word journalist is a collective noun covering all of a journal's editorial staff, not just the reporters"

Hm, well, yeah, in a way, but: It's only natural for writing journalists and editing journalists to be (kind of) opposed to each other. Knowing (and respecting) that is a good start (the only start in fact) to good co-operation, I think.

Listen, I sound like a latter day saint, I know. I'm not that well balanced in RL (the sound you are hearing right now could very well be the silent noddings of dozens of journalists who know me). Nevertheless, I think this is the way it (= I) SHOULD be.

Some of the contributers to this forum over the last couple of days may enjoy the delicious irony of me receiving (from h2g2) this yarn to sub

A474275: Journalists and their Critics

Very amusing, Looney.

As a public service announcement, the first revision of the "Who is God" entry is now available for comment. We don't want our voices left out of this one, now, do we?

http://www.h2g2.com/A472033

Actually, I think we do.

I would be totally content with a footnote saying "of course _atheists_ don't think God exists at all", with a link to the Atheism entry. The question of the truth of the existance of any God is not something which can be answered in a single entry - and I think it would do the whole question a disservice by even attempting to answer it.

Ok - perhaps a small paragraph "Do they exist?" putting forward the various options between atheism, theism, agnosticism, and other isms.

I was distressed that "Thou art God" got missed as a view of God. The whole thing is terribly xtian centered - hopefully the second edit will fix that.

Thank you Løønytünes! I downloaded it imidiately and will laugh (som more) later!

Now back to sub-editing in RL (Just a a wonderfull morning row with a young know-it-all-journalist ) See ya!

I found the compiled entry to be pretty grotesque, although I appreciated that they led it off with that Tolstoy quote... if I could have chosen anything to contribute, it probably would have been that. Anyways I'm going to criticize away... no offense intended to anyone whose arguments I happen to stomp along the way, and none taken should any of you venture to stomp mine. I just intend to hold the entry to the same scrutiny mine was held to (or a bit more ).

While I'm at it, I think my chair should be renamed from "Chief of Forensic Proctology" to "Resident Pitbull". It warns people away.

Everyone's pretty quiet... I think the eds must be learning to detest me. At least it looks like they're going to keep the topic open a while longer. I'm thinking I should push that "Omega point" theory of God for inclusion in the entry... Sellers said it sounds like a star trek episode. I took it as an insult.. he might have meant it as a compliment

Tolstoy? Where did you see a Tolstoy quote???

By all means, criticize away... I'll probably end up joining you. I think the Towers' version should be held to the same standard they were holding yours. In my opinion, you *set* the standard with your God entry... if a similar piece can be produced that maintains journalistic distance from the subject matter, then that's the piece that should be in the Guide. What we have at the moment is really just a large collection of opinions. Even the stuff that they included that I wrote is way off topic... it's an argument about belief, which has nothing to do with the question "What is God?"

Re: Star Trek episode - You were serious about that thing?

Serious? No. But I would ask you what being serious has to do with meaning what I say

The Omega Point "theory" of God has been around for a while. One book that covers a version of it is Great Mambo Chicken and the Transhuman Condition. In essence, the theory is that since life represents matter and energy organised into certain patterns to produce an apiphenomenal thing called "consciousness", one might surmise that "God" represents the point at which all or most of the universe has been similarly organised. What I like about the theory is that it is almost sensible, but at the same time so far out there that it makes for good arguing against the "gaseous hominid" theory of divinity.

I'm afraid it still fails the speed of light restriction on the size of intelligent entities...

{hey - you keep repeating the serious/meaning thing - I reserve the right to be similarly repetitive... }

The other day someone mentioned that editors at magazines interact closely with writers. Actually they don't. In fact, on many magazines the writers don't even get to meet their editors. Some writers/reporters mightn't even be is the same country. Some editors mightn't even be on the same planet.

Although I rarely give interviews or accept offers to speak in public a couple of weeks back I said yes to a friend who asked me to talk to some college kids about getting a job in the media. No doubt I bored them to tears, which is one of the main reasons why I keep such a low profile. But I tried to say something worthwhile, and encouraging, and helpful. Part of my talk involved blathering on about what I do for a living. Afterwards, I went out and got pissed as a parrot, and wished my speech had described a fairly typical day at work. That way, maybe I could have inspired a new generation to set goals, to realise the virtue of hard work, to at least feel close to the action.

8.00am. You feel good about yourself arriving at work this early. It's quiet, almost serene - even an office can sometimes have tenderness about it. You feel especially good that you've managed to drag yourself out of bed and arrive at work this early despite getting pissed as a parrot the night before.

8.29am. Start reading the morning paper.

8.31am. Finish reading the morning paper.

9.30am. Having performed a few light duties, time to inspect your mail. Nice people write in and make flattering remarks about your work. God bless them.

9.35am. Your mail includes one swine who writes in and makes insulting remarks about your work, but it's good to be reminded that you are an appalling person who brings disgrace to your profession. These people are usually right.

9.50am. You step outside for a cigarette, and congratulate yourself on the fact that you're giving up tomorrow.

10.00am. A colleague's story crosses your desk. It is a pleasure to read and you feel proud to be on the same magazine.

10.15am. You make the rounds of the office, spreading joy everywhere you go. You are hard of hearing, and never pick up what they say about you behind your back.

10.30am. The printer breaks down. You curse out loud and give it a good smack around the chops. This doesn't fix the bloody thing, but it always feels good to whack something.

10.45am. A story layout from the art department crosses your desk. It is a pleasure to look at and you feel proud to be on the same magazine.

11.00am. A PR trout phones to try and get her client some publicity. It's the silliest thing you've ever heard in your life, and it makes you laugh, and laugh, and laugh.

11.15am. A few light duties.

11.50am. You phone up a PR trout and try and make the right greasing noises that will get you on a free junket to Paris.

12.40pm. Good God, is that the time? You're starving to death, and heaven knows how many hours have passed since you last had a drink. You easily persuade someone to have lunch; it's payday, and so you fill your face with steak, prawns, and one or two beers, and you come up with all sorts of excellent ideas that involve someone else on staff to do the work.

2.40pm. Return from lunch. Yawn! You slide on over to the red velvet couch in your office, lie down, and enjoy a peaceful doze.

3.20pm. You wake up drooling on a red velvet cushion, and notice the newest staff member walking by your office. You wave them over, and ask, "Howzabout making me a cup of tea?" They agree, and you hand them your cup, and say to them four little words that mean so much: "Black, slice of lemon."

3.30pm. You go through the day's press releases stacked on your desk, and scrupulously examine each and every document, and then carry almost every single page out into the corridor and dump them in the recycling bin.

3.45pm. Your grandson visits, and you teach the top little bloke how to make paper planes out of the remaining press release pages.

4.00pm. A few light duties.

4.20pm. A colleague of lesser experience and a more unstable temperament suffers slight panic when something goes wrong. Wise, phlegmatic, sharp as a tack, you step in and sort it out.

4.30pm. You suffer slight panic when something you do goes wrong. Flustered, ashamed, groggy, you find someone to step in and sort it out.

4.45pm. Confirmation of your free flight to Wellington, where you have a few light duties to carry out, and can visit friends. It's not Paris, but you don't get into this profession to swan around or think you're anything special. You just try and do your best by your readers, and work to standards, and attempt to stay alert, considered, impulsive, and maybe even see about doing something intelligent. You work at Shearing magazine, and it honestly doesn't get much better than that in this trade.

4.46pm. Good God, is that the time?

"I'm afraid it still fails the speed of light restriction on the size of intelligent entities"

Actually, no it doesn't. Light would still only move at a certain "speed", but after a certain point relativistic time dilation would match itself to the observations enacted by the "God" virus.

Everyone go here:

http://www.landoverbaptist.org/news1200/burgerbarn.html

Ormondroyd earns himself a one-man standing ovation for his post in the pro-choice forum he invited us all to earlier. For those of you who missed it, it's in post 225. Bravo!

http://www.h2g2.com/F58078&thread=88492&skip=220&show=20

Aw, gee...
Thanks! I know you don't give out praise lightly, Colonel, so that is much appreciated. I must admit, I was pleased with my timing there. Early on Xmas Eve morning, after several seasonal s, seemed like an excellent time to tell a fundamentalist exactly how much seasonal goodwill I felt towards him.
Actually, at one point I considered posting a link in the "pro-choice" thread to this FFFF page, since the thought of "Anthony" reading it and exploding was so delicious, but then I thought better of it. I wasn't sure that inviting the enemy to our camp was such a good idea. But who knows, maybe one day...

Has anyone noticed the similarities between Santa and God? Especially the old Norse Gods? For instance, who fits the folowing descrition:

Old man with a beard.
Lives in a cold place, not really of this world.
Has magic animal(s) capible of visiting everyone in one night.
He sees you when you're sleeping.
He knows when you're awake.
He knows if you've been bad or good, so be good for goodness' sake.
He performs miracles.
Accepts sacrifices left at the altar(fire place).

Is it Santa or Odin?

A long time ago, in some random forum, I used the example of santa being red, not green, as an example for something or other... anyway, I just got a reply from Coke (get all your theological wisdom from them), so I may as well share it...

Anyone remember what forum it was, so I can follow up on my promise?

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Thanks for visiting The Coca-Cola Company Web site, MyRedDice. We appreciate your interest in the Sundblom Santa.

Haddon Sundblom is an artist that executed the first painting
of Santa Claus for The Coca-Cola Company. At holiday time in
1931, Sundblom's Santa Claus appeared for the first time on
posters and in magazines advertising Coca-Cola and has been
appearing ever since at Christmas in numerous poses and
situations. Thanks to Haddon Sundblom, the Company's
Santa Claus has become universally accepted as the image and concept of the patron saint for Christmas.

If you have additional questions or comments, please feel free to visit our Web site anytime.

Jeffrey Distler
The Coca-Cola Company Industry and Consumer Affairs

Our system will not accept a direct reply to this message. If you wish to reply to this message, please visit us again on our Web site at: [Broken link removed by Moderator]and send us another e-query.

Your original question/comment was:

What's the deal with you people creating the first 'traditional' picture of Santa Claus? I remember some vague info on cans of the stuff around xmas time in the UK, but no details. Can you explain what happened?
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