h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

One of my favourite 'religious' poems is "God, A Poem" by James Fenton, 1983.

I don't think I can quote it all here for copyright reasons, but here's a snippet:



[God speaking]

"I didn't exist at Creation,
I didn't exist at the Flood,
And I won't be around for Salvation
To sort out the sheep from the cud -

"Or whatever the phrase is. The fact is
In soteriological terms
I'm a crude existential malpractice
And you are a diet of worms.

"You're a nasty surprise in a sandwich.
You're a drawing pin caught in my sock.
You're the limpest of shakes from a hand which
I'd have thought would be firm as a rock,"



jd

I think you're allowed to quote, as long as you give proper credit, as you have.

*Anxiously awaits the rest of it... *

OK, here's all of it. Enjoy! :

A nasty surprise in a sandwich,
A drawing-pin caught in your sock,
The limpest of shakes from a hand which
You'd thought would be strong as a rock,

A serious mistake in a nightie,
A grave disappointment all round
Is all that you'll get from th'Almighty,
Is all that you'll get underground.

Oh he said: "If you lay off the crumpet
I'll see you alright in the end.
Just hang on until the last trumpet.
Have faith in me chum - I'm your friend."

But if you remind him he'll tell you
"I'm sorry, I must have been pissed -
Though your name rings sort of a bell. You
Should have guessed that I do not exist.

"I didn't exist at Creation,
I didn't exist at the Flood,
And I won't be around for Salvation
To sort out the sheep from the cud -

"Or whatever the phrase is. The fact is
In soteriological terms
I'm a crude existential malpractice
And you are a diet of worms.

"You're a nasty surprise in a sandwich.
You're a drawing pin caught in my sock.
You're the limpest of shakes from a hand which
I'd have thought would be firm as a rock,"

"You're a serious mistake in a nightie,
You're a grave disappointment all round -
That's all that you are," says th'Almighty,
"And that's all that you'll be underground."

James Fenton, 1983

LOL
Thats really good! Thanks for sharing it!
*wanders off giggling*

¦M¦