h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Thanks for this well constructed and very enlighting sharing. I must admit that, although I see myself quite liberal and open, it made me rethink a certain number of a prioris.

As I was getting toward the end of your article, something striked me as a contradiction: why would a person who identifies as "submissive" complain about the constraint of not being able to discuss freely some aspects of their life?
And then, as if on cue, your last sentence answered exactly that question:
"help to break down the very non-*consensual* walls that surround my mind"

The word "consensual" is the key, right?

Well done, thanks again!

C.L.

I also enjoyed the article. It's a new issue for me, and one that I'm not sure belongs in any of the mental categories I've already created for understanding the world.

To Connie, above, one other reason I saw no contradiction (aside from your good point about consent) is that just because a person is submissive in some, many, or most aspects of life, doesn't mean they don't have some aspects where they aren't submissive, I would think.

Thanks for reading - I'm glad you both enjoyed it.

Consent is a *huge* deal in BDSM activities - as should seem fairly evident given their nature. All sexual activities should be consensual, but it seems to me that it often has to be explicitly emphasised in BDSM.

IrvWash, you're right about being submissive only in some aspects of life. "Submissive" is a sexual designation, essentially. In my real life I know that I can often seem very bossy and forthright and assertive, depending on the activity. There are certain instances, though, like making a decision ("Where do you want to eat lunch?") where I'm very poor at asserting myself.

One theory commonly posed is that people who are "dominant" personalities in their day-to-day lives - perhaps a high-powered executive - might enjoy being sexually submissive because of the removal of the stressful decision-making process - or vice versa.

Thanks again for reading.

I should add, however, that one's ability to make decisions really doesn't have that much to do with one's fantasies - I merely use that as an example to illustrate how (partially because I haven't had sexual experience) my tendencies manifest themselves outside the bedroom, much as being LGBT, or from a different culture, could influence one's lifestyle.