h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Too sane and cheerfull. Keep getting horrible urges to clean the house, organise the closets, and use the spell checker. Also washed the car. I don't know how much longer I can resist. I'm confused, what should I do?

Dear Buff.

Relax!

As soon as I was on-line, I rushed to your entry, as I know an emergency when I see one. Cleaning out the house and closets? That is a sure sign of extreme emergency.

Relax!

Right now I want you to sit down comfortably in front of the screen, and if you are in any way busy about important things - LEAVE THEM! Sit back, relax and read this starting advice.

Relax!

You need to relax. Chill out. Put your feet up. If you must do something, now would be a good time to put on some kind of lazy music. Do you like Bach? I do. Bach is not relaxing; do not listen to Bach right now. Choose something that is, Sade, Vivaldi, Dire Straits or, should you be weird enough to find that relaxing, Venga Boys. Jazz, blues, avantgarde (some of it - like Adiemus) or quiet classical music. Just as long as you find it relaxing.
If the music happens to bother your fellow being, ignore this - it is part of your therapy!

Relax!

Now open a few windows in your Internet browser and go to relaxant and vaguely entertaining sites, browse around, try to find something nice and lazy to look at and enjoy. Do under NO CIRKUMSTANCES get up and get coffee, cook, lauder, clean or even change your underwear. Have others do it for you.

Relax!

Here are a few suggestions to mindless entertainment, laziness and entertainment:
http://www.h2g2.com - This forum does not yield room to explain this one, so I won’t.
http://www.go2net.com/useless/ - which is a list of completely useless pages. Most of them have a moderate to high entertainment-value - as long as your own page is not one of them, naturally. That I, some people are proud of creating useless pages, perhaps this was a form of therapy for you?
http://www.webrpg.com/survey/index.phtml - A list of dubious role-playing statistics, should you be into that stuff, it could be pretty funny.
http://sassydog.com/ - where you may take the time to mail somebody a vicious but virtual dog bite. Lazy and violent all at once!
http://www.funtrivia.com/ - which is a dubious site, but a source of lots of information, some of which just may become handy some day… (This counsellor offers no guarantee!)
http://www.webho.com/WealthClock - allows you to see how much money Bill Gates has accumulated. I don’t know, but it is a lazy thing to look at. I bet Bill feels much the same way about it…
http://www.angelfire.com/wy/iprr/index2.html - could be something if you are looking for adventure, science fiction or fantasy style easy-read and participate pages. Here you can add your own stuff or read others materials. Needs to be seen.
http://www.cnn.com - give you news, should you be weird enough to find that relaxing…
http://www.yerf.com/ - is a site where you can admire furry art made by a large variety of artists. Furries being animalistic cartoon-like creatures. Very lazy to look at if you happen to like it.
http://webpages.marshall.edu/~hartwel1/humor.html - is just here to round up the whole thing with a humour-archive. Enter at your own peril!

Relax!

Now you are supposed to waste a few hours, relaxing, sitting on your lazy butt and doing absolutely nothing.
Should you prefer, you may also do this other places than by your computer. Watch a good movie, read a nice book, sit in the (clean) car and have somebody drive you someplace nice. Just as long as you do NOT perform ANY kind of practical task! (Do NOT let yourself be persuaded to fill’er up at the next gas station!)

Relax!

And when you’re done relaxing and cannot stand it anymore, try to consider the following question:
Why are you so cheerful about your situation?

Return here and tell me how your laziness wound up and what you think about the question. (I.e. the answer!)

Good luck to you!

-KimotoCat / Counsellor

P.S.

Do NOT attempt to clean the car again!!!