h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

NB: This is NOT an attack on the BBC or any of its book editors, it is simply a sardonic piece based upon my experiences and feelings at the time. I think the BBC have done a great job with the Doctor Who novels, and look forward to many years of reading...

(inspired by the rejection letter from BBC Books, recieved on 18-01-00, regarding Doctor Who: The Forgotten...)

You wait for three months to hear from the publishing company about your latest attempt. Three times already you have submitted manuscripts, because one of your dreams is to have your own Doctor Who novel published. Everything comes in threes, it seems. So, the chances are your fourth attempt will break the three-rule... Right?

Wrong.

You come home and there it is. The brown envelope, address written in your own hand writing. Response from the BBC. At last! you think. You rush upstairs, envelope in hand, quickly switch on the PC, log on to the Net, get your coffee, put on your music. After three months of eager anticipation you hold it in your hands.

Could this be the one?

Already you have gone through various mindsets. '...this is the one, this will sell...' - '...it's been so long they must really be interested...' - '...it has been too long, they aren't gonna use it...'

But now you hold it in your hand. And you wonder, you expect good news, despite the long wait. How can you not? It is almost like holding a piece of parchment, proof of the existance of God. Too good to be true.

With much haste you rip open the envelope and pull out the contents. A letter atop of your synopsis and sample chapter, and below more writer's guidelines. Identical to the ones you already have. Oh no! Your heart sinks... and you read.

"Unfortunately, this was not what we were looking for at this time..." Okay, you can handle that. You have heard it three times before. No problem, so you continue reading. Then you come to the bottom, and you can hear the blood pumping. "...but we can assure you that your proposal has been carefully read by very experienced readers."

Carefully you place the letter on the bed.

Okay, fine, you can deal with this. You go to your favourite chatroom, and suddenly realise how mad you feel. What exactly did that say about you - you who read over fifty novels in a year?

For long moments you ponder the question... it is time to quit this writing lark? You think yes, but it is only a half hearted thought. In your heart you know you are a writer. Writing is the most frequent thought you have...

Sod it! You already have a screen play in the pipeline, why let it stop you? Most of the best writers were rejected for years. Fact.

With resolve you place the disk in the PC and access the script. You will not be deterred....

(4. Ext. Sloroth ruins. Day.)


Anybody felt like this? Tell me...

As I've never finished a work to my satisfaction (often I stop at the first page... I've got a short attention span sometimes ) I've yet to send one to a publisher, and therefore I've yet to be rejected... But I can imagine how you feel. Assuming you've got good material, I should think that the only key would be persistance...

In my case, it would include learning to spell, as well...

~Irving