h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I am scared and borderline phobic of a lot of things. One day me and brother worked out my worst case scenario...
being held upside down to look at someone with white face paint and *long hair tied up* for a reasonably long time, in near silence, except for animal noises and the sound of steam being released.
My other worst fear is an afterlife, even heaven.

*more petty annoyance than fear.

I know what you mean: the Christian heaven would be a Hell in its own paradoxical way, as Eternal Bliss would surely mean eternal stagnation - if everything is perfect there's nothing to aspire to and it would soon, I fear, become eternal ennui. Sounds hellish!

Indeed, also I don't like the idea of being alive in someway for ever. It defeats the point in dying. I used to see some bearing in an eternal signal being left after a death and some being able to pick up, or the energy of life has to go somewhere. Well the first one, has no proof and the second one, there is a heat decomposition of the body, also providing energy for small worms and the like if buried.
Another fear of an afterlife, with my slightly blasphemous remarks from time to time, it is possible hell awaits.

There is a Far Side cartoon I was reminded of. In the first panel, an angel at heavens gate meets new souls with "Welcome to Heaven, Here's your harp" In the second panel, the entrance to the Underworld, a devil greets his lot. "Welcome to Hell, Here's your accordion"

The accordian does seem a hard instrument...

My violin teacher told me "There are no hard instruments; there are only soft players" I must be a masochist. I pay her to torture me. But then.. she must be a masochist too. She listens to me play!

I'm a soft player.
I always get a bit nervous in drum lessons, I don't take criticism well, no matter how constructive or politely put.
So you're a violinist? I used to want to play that, but my parents knew it would sound horrible at first. Not a strong enough masochist streak

My absolute worst fear is being locked in a coffin like space while stil alive. I tried to work out a way of ending that sort of entrapment the other week if such a horror was to happen and the only way would be to bite hard into my wrist to basically cut my own wrist in a suicide death. It sounds extreme but if like me you avoid tube trains and have a fear of enclosed spaces, even stopped overground trains start the heart pumping, then you will understand. I never tell people of my fear incase someone thinks it is hugely funny to lock me in a store room while getting something from there. I even start to feel jumpy watching cavers on TV in tight spaces!

I know how you feel. Quite a lot of public toilets have that effect on me. If I go into a cupboard I try to block the door open with a chair or make sure I have the keys with me. A touch on the paranoid side

That one's called claustrophobia and you are not alone. It's one of the most common. The opposite is called agoraphobia. Klaustrophobia is fear of opening your presents and getting an ugly sweater instead of the X-Box you wanted.

One of my friends became claustrophobic because her brother put her in a suitcase and sat on it.

That's an interesting point about 'becoming claustrrophobic' because of something that happened. There is an experiment set up to determine whether fears are instinctive (genetically based) or learned. In the experiment, infant rhesus monkeys were exposed to a rubber snake. If the monkey was alone in did show great caution, which shows that there is something hard wired that 'knows' what a snake is. If the subject was with another monkey, even a video of another monkey, who was afraid of snakes and panicked when he saw it, the baby learned the panic and kept it all his life. If the baby was with another who wasn't afraid, he learned to get used to snakes. It seems we are born with some fears that can harden or soften with learning.

The standard therapy for phobias is to gradually expose the person to what he's afraid of so that he eventually gets used to it (habituation) If you have arachnophobia, the therapist will start you with small pictures of spiders, then small plastic spiders, then big plastic ones, and finally actual spiders.

Well I once heard of someone who had a wierd phobia. He wasnt afraid of dying, but of what happened later. He didnt wish to be buried or cremated for the fear of being aware of the pain while not being able to do anything about it...
Strange eh...

Phobias also have fashionable impetus. For instance, you used to be able to buy coffins with telephones or other signalling devices for people who feared being mistakenly buried alive. They were especially popular with Orthodox Jews who's bodies couldn't be tampered with as in an autopsy or other invasive medical procedure, and who had to be buried before sundown the same day you died. I don't know if it's an urban myth but there are stories of exhumations where the inside lid of the coffin has been shredded by the fingers of the guest.

die with your nokia on instead of your boots huh!

Or not... You know how it works. The damn mobile can always get a signal except when you really, really need it.

Which reminds me of a funny story. (This is true; you can look it up) A man is stuck in the Andes mountains waiting to die. He has a cell phone but he has used up all the time that he paid for so it doesn't work. (Haven't we all done that.) His phone rings! It's the service provider trying to sell him more time. Is he glad that he hasn't also let his VISA payments lapse?

An interesting experiment involving being mildly cruel to kittens:

To determine if some fears are innate, litters of kittens were removed from Mummy. Mummy-cat was placed on one side of a barrier, which the kittens had to cross so as to be reunited with her. The barrier took the form of a clear perspex screeen set over a deep drop (six feet or so). The kitten was therefore confronted with overcoming its fear of falling - this was set against the drive to get back to Mummy.

(In early experiments, the mother-cat just strolled nonchalantly over the perspex to get the kittens herself, which ruined the point of things somewhat. So she was screened off from them by a vertical perspex barrier. It was discovered that the majority of kittens soon discovered the fall was illusory, and they could safely stroll over the drop - but they all had that agonising moment of making the decision first)

did the intresting experiment that involved major cruelty to kittens happen...the one where they removed the perspex bridge?

I try to limit the use of the word cruelty to the intentional inflicting of suffering for personal pleasure. What cats do to mice, for instance. To remove the transparent cover would be pointless. The experimenter would know ahead of time what would happen so it wouldn't qualify as a scientific experiment.

Some medical procedures such as spinal taps are very painful yet can't be called cruel because the point is to help.

It is usually thought that the fear of being in small enclosed spaces is called claustrophobia - it isn't. That is the fear of being locked in. My phobia IS the fear of small enclosed spaces and it is called clithrophobia.
I dream of being stuck between two rocks or being in a really tiny small space and not being able to get out. Freud would say I am dreaming my life - stuck between a rock and a hard place?
Pot holing is my worst nightmare; I can't even watch it on TV and I find my myself hyperventilating when watching an underwater secene! GOd, I hope I never drown or find myself down a mine shaft!