h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

In a manner of speaking, yes!

I'd like to volunteer to be the midfield hatchet man

*demonstrates a crunching tackle*

I'll probably be best as the flawed genius who produces one piece of magic then does nothing all game, leaving the fans disenheartened. I'm using ex-Evertonians Mickael Madar, Alex Nyarko and Ibrahima Bakayoko as my inspiration.

I would like to fulfill the role of creative, but frustratingly inconsistent, midfield genius. Main skills are spraying 40 yard passes around the pitch, scoring spectacular goals, never tracking back , arguing with officials and wearing socks around ankles. Famed for drinking binges , succession of ex-Miss World girlfriends , more likely to be seen on the cover of Hello than on the training pitch.

Looks like Orcus is doing all the work for Egon and I in the midfield then!

A midfield of Vinnie Jones, Alex Nyarko and George BEST- WOULD THAT BE THE Oddest fantasy football team ever or what?

I'm thinking more of a Grahame Souness/Roy Keane styl midlfielder. I'd like to have slightly more talent than Vinnie Jones although my acting abilities will always be to the fore. I have the Paul Ince 'innocent, "What me?"' look down to a tee.

That's George Best crossed with Paul Gascoigne and Jerry Murphy