h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*sniff*
If only I'd known about this sooner
*snort*
is there an easy way to stop all the mucus and stuff? My nose is red raw and sos my throat
eurgh!

Clarinase works pretty well for me, in stopping all that messy muscus. (The name seems to be pretty consistent in most countries). It seems to stop the symptoms of flu only, not a total cure. I say that with total reservations and qualify that statement, as I'm a layman in such matters!! Don't sue me.

Of course, I note that its been six weeks since you posted that desperate cry for help. I presume that you've been cured by now, and have moved on to other ailments common to the human race, ie love, finances etc. If you still have that flu however, you could consider major intrusive surgery at this point, ie, transplant your nose and lungs. Cheerios!