h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

A clumsy title I know, but hey; it's all-inclusive.

This has got to be the best excuse ever. I know, because it saved my skin. The best thing about it is that it is absolutely true...

Well sir, boss, gaffer, Professer, etc. (delete as applicable), my little brother/son, when playing on the computer yesterday, managed to spill some water on the keyboard. He didn't notice this, and then tried to type into the machine. He suffered from a mild electric shock (causing him to spasm and whack his head on the desk and chair edge), which fed back into the hard drive, wiping saved files from several programs. My parents were out at the time (I'm a Year 13 student), and so it was left to me to take my little brother to casualty. As a consequence, not only was my essay/report etc. (which was saved on the hard drive and subsequently wiped) lost, but I did not have the chance to re-write it in time for today. I'm dreadfully sorry , but I was extremely concerned for my brother's health and safety in the light of his accident. I'm sure you understand.

It may seem to be over-egging the pudding somewhat, but I can assure you that it is 100% genuine.

Necro.

Gee.... is he okay?
Thanks, btw

Yeah. The casualty doctor just gave him a couple of paracetemol and told him to take the next day off school. Lucky b@st@rd. There was virtually nothing wrong with him, aside from the slight burn marks on his fingers. And the plus side is that we can now plug the cooker into his @rse...

Necro.

I think I'm going to start a section of Horror Stories or Excuses You hope never to have to use

The best one is a dead relative. I'll never forget that classic extract from Terry Pratchett's 'Men at Arms' when Captain Vimes and Sergeant Colon are talking about Corporal St. John de Nobbes (Nobby);

"Where's Nobby?", asked Vimes. "Grandmother's funeral", Sergeant Colon replied. "How many grandmothers has that man got?", asked Vimes incredulously. "Sixteen, at the last count sir."

Absolute genius.

I thought so to
A section of excuses you really don't want to have to use has been added, btw.

Hooray! I'm in somebody else's article! If you have anything to add to any of my stuff, I'll be only too pleased to put it in, if it ties in with the rest of it. For example, my article on British Politics: http://www.h2g2.com/A193358

I'm told by people that it's quite funny.

Necr