h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Entry: The Like - the Band - A24029273
Author: Matt the Hoopy - U168592

A band Entry, my first attempt at one of these, so go easy. There may be more in the pipes...

Go easy? How many entries have you written? I'll have a look at this one when I've finished one or two other things Matt, honest.

No rush

But do go easy, I've got a cold and don't feel too crash hot

There are exactly two names in this which IO've heard before: Vonda Shepard and Maroon 5.
You start by saying they're the kids of roch industry legends, but it takes you a long time before you mention who they are. (Not that it makes any differenec to me, mind, because I domn't know them anyway.) I don't know any film or series called O.C., either.

Hmmm, a bit short for a band entry, methinks. More info please.

Never heard of 'em, have followed the myspace link, however, and I quite like it.

You've created a fan, if nothing else.

Not sure about the bands they've supported, though

I've added links to some of the other bands and the O.C.

I think I said music industry 'veterans' also, not legends, and I've added some more info about them to clear up their influence in the sector.

I don't feel I need to mention their fathers straight off the bat, as the Entry is about the band and the girls, not their fathers

Yes, sorry, may bad with the legend/veterans (I correctly read and understood veterans ). But why introducing them as the daughters of those veterans at all? I mean, how did they meet, is there something they've got in common - school, sportsclub etc? Or did they meet because their daddies are friends?

I thought I had something about being childhood friends because of their dad's knowing each other, it must have disappeared. I'll sort that out

Oh, and I'm not going to argue about Entry length,although I will say in comparison to some Band Entries (like ABBA or Queen) it is a tad short, but for a band with only one album released I thought that was understandable...

Good point, well put, Matt. Maybe if the childhood malarkiness is sorted it won't feel so short*





*says she who has only written one *very* short solo entry

I've updated, but am not completely happy with it. I'll come back when my head's not so full of stuffyness

Re-read, think it's okay now...

Right, I've overhauled and added some more info to flesh it out Hope it reads better now.

Top quality entry, Matt. I knew nothing about them before, and now I know as much as I'd ever need to

Nitpicks:

a misplaced apostrophe, but it's a bit of a clumsy clause overall.

< they are remarkably talented and energetic (all being consummate vegetarians) musicians> I'd put the parenthetical bit after 'musicians'.

fathers'

Icy

Thanks Icy

I've sorted out those nitpicks with a fresh-headed rewrite and added some more bits and pieces. Hope it looks better now

Your Guide Entry has just been picked from Peer Review by one of our Scouts, and is now heading off into the Editorial Process, which ends with publication in the Edited Guide. We've therefore moved this Review Conversation out of Peer Review and to the entry itself.

If you'd like to know what happens now, check out the page on 'What Happens after your Entry has been Recommended?' at EditedGuide-Process. We hope this explains everything.

Thanks for contributing to the Edited Guide!

Oh! Why thanking you

Hi there Matt - your Entry is at A24029273...

...but I kinda got carried away and sent it back before posting. I'm quite out-of-practice at the moment

Fortunately I didn't make too many changes, so hopefully it should be ok. I hope. Err... Bye

Um, yeah I know where my Entry is

Where's your edited one then eh?

I'm sure it's all gravy