h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Do you have an allotment? Yes I do. I got it four years ago, and it was terribly, terribly overgrown. I have to keep reminding myself how bad it was, because at the moment it looks pretty dreadful! I love having the allotment because it is great to spend time in the great outdoors and very satisfying to grow your own food. Plus rent of an allotment is a lot cheaper than a subscription at the gym!

What are you growing? A lot of weeds at the moment! My allotment is very fertile, which is wonderful, but also a pain in the grass. I have every sort of weed you can mention – nettles, groundsel, dandelions, thistles, bind weed, couch grass, hen thatch, brambles, deadly nightshade, creeping buttercup, goose grass. However, when those plants aren’t winning, I grow strawberries, peas, beans, courgettes, raspberries, beetroot, pumpkins, squash, carrots, parsnips, onions, garlic, spinach, lettuce, tomatoes… err, most things really!

Do you have any good allotment tips you can share with us? After four years I have several tips which may be useful to newbie allotment holders. Check out what everyone else on your site is doing. If they have all dug their plots over by hand taking out all of the weeds by hand, then don’t think that rotovating it all will make your so much better than theirs, because it won’t!! The reason that no one else rotovates the ground, or has raised beds, or does not have a clear path through the plot or whatever is because they know it won’t work. Take the advice!! (Yes, the voice of experience is speaking here!)

Explain to the uninitiated just how good allotment-grown food tastes. There is nothing better than putting a freshly picked, plump and juicy pea in your mouth. It is juicy, it is sweet, it has flavour. The stuff you get from the supermarkets does not have the flavour you get from fresh stuff. I think it has to do with the sugars deteriorating with shipping, or something.

Can you actually save money on food bills if you grow enough stuff on your allotment? Yes. Easily. Last year I bought all my veggie seeds for £12 (using 2 for 1 offers and things like that). I provided for my hubby and I throughout the summer and into autumn and winter.

Are allotmenteers in the main generally decent folk? Or are they cranky, competitive know-alls? Allotmenteers are human. Therefore, there will be those who are salt-of-the-earth types who would do anything for anyone, and there will be cranky, competitive know alls as well. Mostly, I have found people are polite, friendly and helpful!

Have you ever been the victim of a turf war or do you all get along fine? No turf wars. Most people are amicable.

Do you know any great allotment characters? Are you one yourself!? I think it is a misnomer that all allotmenteers are great characters. Like it is that all allotment sites have a good community atmosphere. Some of them might have it, but the one I grow on does not. People are polite if you see them there, but there is no real banter or community spirit to speak of.

What do you think about the current craze for allotments? I think it is a good thing. The more that people grow their own veggies, the better it is for health, the environment, people’s mental health even. It is a shame that there are waiting lists that are so long though. It is a known fact that allotmenteers are very long lived people! I think it will probably be a passing fad, unfortunately. Although, with gardens being grabbed for houses, perhaps not!

Maybe you should try making friends that you could trade things with.

I am curious...how big is an allotment???

I admire that you know how to identify so many weeds & I am sorry that you have so many.

I would love to make friends with people, but they are never there when I am!!

And in my more positive moments, I always think how good it is to have these weeds. Shows that my soil is very fertile!

As for size of allotments, it differs between sites I think. Mine is about 1/3 acre. Though when it needs weeding it feels like 1/3 hectare!!