h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Entry: The Trilogy, More then just a hobby - A2370223
Author: TLG (ACW History Group). - U515781

I have had many people ask about my hobby; 'The Trilogy'
there is no easy way to explain, hopefuly this can explain about it without going into too much detail.

This is a well-written piece, although it could do with some tidying up.

I've never heard of 'the Trilogy' before, although the word Trilogy has always been used for any three works of music or literature. Is the Trilogy a song, or is it three songs? You describe it as a song that Mickey Newbury wrote, but you also say it is three songs that already existed. You'll need to clear this confusion up.

There are lots of spelling mistakes, eg Briton when you mean Britain. You've used apostrophes for plurals, eg song's when you mean songs. These should be tidied up. Perhaps you could copy and paste the text into Microsoft Word and see what spelling mistakes it spots.

Good work!

With a bit more work, you can get this into the Guide.

Hi Gnomon,
Thank you for the kind words and advice.

I have rectifided some of the things you have kindly pointed out, as for the punctuation, this will take a little longer, reason being I'm on a course for basic English at this moment in time, I know it may sound a bit strange to you for 55 year old person doing this, But after spending over 30 years driving trucks around the country, you don't tend to use these common skills, now that I've been forced to retire, due to a stroke, I've decided to better myself and my unpublished books.

Thank you again.

TLG.

I can read through it in detail and point out all the spelling mistakes if you want, but I didn't want to do this at the start, because it might put you off.

It's certainly an interesting entry and tells me about something I haven't heard of before, which is the best sort of entry.

Hi,
I would be very grateful if you could do this for me, but please do this when you have the time, don't make a spesial task of it just for me.

Many thanks.

TLG.

There are plenty of people here in Peer Review who will help you with this entry TLG, particularly the Scouts, whose job it is do that sort of thing.

I think there's a very good entry in here, but it will need some work to get it into shape for inclusion in the Edited Guide. I'm going to have some breakfast, but I'll come back later and see what I can come up with


Scout
Back in the saddle again

TLG,

I have to apologise for not getting back to you on this. I've been busy doing other things. But I promise I will have a good look at it soon and come back with some recommendations. I'm sure we can work together to make this a great tribute to the Trilogy.

OK. I'll make four suggestions for now.

1. Since the word Trilogy is used for lots of things which are not described in this article, I think you should be specific. It should have the title "Performing the Trilogy - a Country and Western Phenomenon" or something like that.

2. There is a lot of repetition in your article. You describe how Mickey Newbury came up with the idea in a few places. There's other stuff which is repeated in a few places as well. The best way to get around this is to write out the headings only on a piece of paper. YOu should have:

Introduction - what is the Trilogy
How it all started
WHat happened next
Performing the Trilogy
Designing your own Trilogy

There may be other sections you want to put in, and you should use your own title, but make sure that there is no repetition.

Then go into the entry itself and move everything into the right sections. If you find you have duplication, just cut it out.

3. You are not supposed to mention yourself in a h2g2 Edited Entry. See can you reword sentences so that they don't mention you. Instead of saying:

'This Trilogy I have wrote down is one of the many Military Trilogies that I have designed'

you can say:

'The following is an example of a Military Trilogy'.

4. You have a habit of stringing phrases together by finishing each bit with a comma and then launching into the next. THese should be separate sentences. Read each of your sentences up to the comma and see does that part stand on its own without the part of the comma. Then read the part after the comma on its own and see does it make sense on its own. If so, these are two separate sentences, so you should end the first with a full stop (period) and start the second with a capital letter.

Let us know how you are getting on. Best of luck!

Hi Gnomon,
Thank you for all this work you have done on this.
I will now start on all your suguestions.

Thank you, I will let you know how I get on.
TLG

Just one thing that sounded odd when I was reading it.

"then place both hands on top of the sword butts"

should be

then place both hands on the pommel

The handle of a sword is called the hilt, consisting of the guard, grip and pommel. The pommel is the bit at the end of the grip furthest from the blade. The pommel is usualy weighted so it acts as a counter balance to the blade. Only rifles have butts, at least in the UK.

Donald

Hi there, TLG -- I see you're still around, have you had a chance to do some more work on this one?


mikey

He's not around anymore, unfortunately.

Do we think you if worth a run in FM, or is it too niche for someone to pick up?


Geggs

If this is picked up, the first thing that should be fixed is the title. At the very least, 'then' needs to be changed to 'than'; preferabally, it would be changed something more individually descriptive, perhaps
'Newbury's Trilogy - etc.'

On this site their is only ONE trilogy for which the assumptive title 'The Trilogy' might be accurate, and I don't think DNA would approve of that one either. (and, certainly not the LotR one.)

Next bit of business is the part about 'More than a Hobby'. It may be just my opinion, but it's a song, for Bob's sake. Although, what he describes seems to fit 'an Obsession', which could be used as a substitute, I can't imagine even a hobby consisting of obsessing over one, single, solitary song. Even most fans will obsess of larger concepts such as an artist or a group.



PS: I never really cared for the piece, but that's of no consequence.

Okay, Title has not yet been fixed. 'Then' is simply the wrong word, it's 'than' in this context. Than compares this to that. Then is a point in time.

Since my previous posting, I have changed my view slightly. It's not just a song. It's three stolen songs, better termed 'The Medley'.

Second the FM move, and adding it to email.