Smudger Snippets
Created | Updated Feb 26, 2004
I suppose it's because I have so much time on my hands these days, that all these memories come flooding back to me.
The Spanner Incident
Just thought I would share a funny story with you that happened to me a long time ago when I was working in the oil construction business.
The yard where I was working at that time was very large, and made up from a vast area of reclaimed land from the sea. In fact it was so large that we had split all the areas up into sections; there were two vast dusty, sanded areas that we called the Sahara and the Gobi deserts. The strong wind would come off the sea whipping up a huge sand storm that would blind you, and making just walking across it difficult.
There were other areas and buildings that had names such as, Pile Rack one and two, the Deck Assembly and the 'H' block, which was really just a lot of mobile cabins for the administration staff laid out in the form of an 'H'. Then there was the stress oven, a very large oven where a complete node1 could be heat-treated in one firing - this was right next to the Barker Building.
Now this Barker Building was a large three-sided open building that was named after a notorious fitter who worked on the site. He was a large aggressive looking bloke who had the kind of face you would never forget, and a really harsh, loud voice that seemed to fit in well with his abrupt manner. He boxed for the army when he was younger, and had the scars to prove it. In fact he was so fearsome, that even the supervisors were wary of him. Yet, after I had worked with him on a couple of jobs and got to know him, he was really a pleasant person. It was the reputation and manner the people were scared of, but one thing for sure, you did not want to be on the wrong side of Barker.
I was fitting riser clamps2 with him on the top side area of this large jacket3 we were building. We were working around eighty five feet above ground level. We had both come down in the basket4 to stock up with doubler plates5 and I had to change my bottle of gas for my MIG welder.
I was ready to go back up before Barker was and asked him if I could go back up on my own in the basket then send it down for him later, but he said no! This rather annoyed me, as it meant I had to climb up to the top by means of several ladders, rather like a spiral stair case. So, before I left, I made it clear to him that I was not happy about it, and made my way up. Just as I was approaching the top, I had to swing my legs over the guard rail in order to get back onto our work platform. As I did this, to my horror I felt the shifting spanner that I used for changing the gas, slip out from the ruler pocket of my overalls and started its fall to the ground!
I cried out as loud as I could to warn the folk below, but the wind just carried my voice away out to the sea. I shouted as often and loud as I could as the spanner fell from above, but to no avail. Then just before it landed it struck the scaffolding - just above the make shift table where Barker was studying the drawings - deflecting it and warning those below of its speedy arrival. To my horror, I saw Barker looking up at me, at the same time as covering his face from this tumbling object, even from the height I was at, I could see the look on his face! Luckily for me, the deflection it took from striking the scaffolding, sent it away from Barker, and landed with a sickening thud on to the desk top, before bouncing off and into the sand.
Now I was panicking as the thought came to me that he might think that I dropped it on purpose, after our disagreement before I left to climb up. There followed what seemed - to me at least - to be a long silence, before the barrage of foul language started to reach me from way down on the ground. I was done for, and had nowhere to go, I looked around in panic to see if there an escape route for me before he reached the top. I could see a way out for me; all I had to do was swing myself over to the neighbouring scaffold tower and make my way down before he could reach me. It turned out to be a good idea for me as, just as he was reaching the top of our tower, I was at the bottom of the other, and making a great retreat to safer ground! I knew that there would be little point in trying to explain to him what actually happened, at least until he had time to calm down, so all I had to do was stay clear of him until he had.
I spent the last hour of our shift ducking and diving as rumours of the incident were spreading like wild fire. I had to make out that I knew nothing about it, in case someone ratted on me. It was a very long hour for me, to say the least, yet I felt safe once I was in the queue for the clocking-out shack. Still trying to behave normally, I thought I was home and dry. Then, to my horror, I saw the crowd of fellow workers just opening to reveal a gap and, in that gap, was Barker, heading straight for me, with a wild look in his eyes! I was trapped, nowhere to turn, as he closed in on me. Then, just as he reached me, I felt someone push me from behind so hard it knocked me to the floor. Then I heard a scuffle and the dust from this landed on top of me - I was so scared I dare not look up. Then nothing! It was eerie. All I heard was the sound of the clock punching the cards as the men clocked out.
It all turned out well for me in the end as another worker, who was a rigger, and a massive bloke, had actually seen what happened from a nearby tower and had stepped in at the last minute and saved me. As he explained to Barker what he saw, Barker appeared to calm down and then he walked over to me and gave me a tap on the head. Now a tap on the head, in Barkers' terms, is really a good clout round the ear which I took and remained standing, only just! Yet a valuable lesson was learned by me that day; where to keep that spanner in the future!
