h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I have specified 'bowl toilet with water-filled U-bend' to differentiate from those which... well... don't have a water-filled U-bend... like the Dutch ones, apparently.



The Apprentice

Entry: The Crash Mat - A22586682
Author: The Apprentice - Old Enough to Know Better - U35204

(just to aid people in referencing the original article)

The Apprentice

A few more queries:


Basics of the Crash Mat 3rd line: ('protruding through')?

Minimalist 3rd line: [the moistened sides]

Asterisk 2nd line: (spelled 'double sheets' elsewhere)?

Asterisk 3rd line: [moistened]

Asterisk 4th line: (the third / the last)?

Asterisk 2nd para 1st line: (comma missing after 'barrier')?

Chaotic Mess 3rd para 1st line: (a 'Mess' of toilet paper)?

Chaotic Mess 3rd para 1st line: (almost without exception)?

Chaotic Mess 3rd para 2nd line: [or purchase]

Crafty Design 1st line: [at the beginning,]

Footnote 3: <(especially if you've genuinely run out of toilet paper and no one can render assistance in finding any more.> [any more).]

Done! Cheers for the feedback!



The Apprentice

Your Guide Entry has just been picked from Peer Review by one of our Scouts, and is now heading off into the Editorial Process, which ends with publication in the Edited Guide. We've therefore moved this Review Conversation out of Peer Review and to the entry itself.

If you'd like to know what happens now, check out the page on 'What Happens after your Entry has been Recommended?' at EditedGuide-Process. We hope this explains everything.

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Congratulations, T.A. Great job!

Incidentally, I wonder if it's worth fiddling with (Asterisk 2nd para) to accommodate those females who like to pee on their feet...so to speak: http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/entertainment/3816715.stm

The entry concerns Number Twos only... and I don't expect anyone to spend time defacating while standing up... not unless they have some complicated medical condition or bad knees...



The Apprentice

"The entry concerns Number Twos only..."

So, you're saying that males should be careful not to disturb the 'asterisk' while peeing in the standing position, but that it doesn't matter if females do?

Anyway, it's your Entry and your 'call' .

No...

You would only ever use a Crash Mat if you're sitting down to have... well, a poo. In these circumstances, a man will pee forward towards the end of the bowl away from the cistern, while a woman will pee more in a vaguely central location. So, a man - by adjusting the Asterisk arrangement - could avoid peeing on it, while a woman most likely cannot.

I realise peeing causes a certain amount of splashing... but, I would never envisage resorting to a Crash Mat under such circumstances.

The Apprentice

Apologies, T.A. (I doubt whether anyone else would be silly enough to misinterpret that section as I have - I guess the opportunity for joshing must have taken my mind off the job...).

Looking forward to your next Entry.

The Glastonbury articles were excellent!



The Apprentice