h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

It's your first skydive. You're rushing through the air and all is going fine. But the ground's coming up on you a bit too quick, and suddenly...CRACK, you fracture your ankle as you fail to execute the perfect landing.

Never fear, though, a military ambulance is nearby. You are bundled inside before you know it and rushed to the nearest field hospital.

Just before you get there, the driver says to you: "Look, I'm sorry about this, but the surgeons at this hospital are a bit mad. There's only one doctor who tells the truth all the time. The others are all liars. And they ALWAYS lie. If you can, try and get the truth-teller to fix your ankle."

He wheels you through the front door, and shouts: "Right, who is the doctor here that always tells the truth?"

Field Marshall Amplifier says "Don't bother asking the Corporal. He'll tell you that he always lies"

General Disaster wheels round and bellows "I ALWAYS TELL THE TRUTH, but I have recently converted to Buddhism and become an elective mute!"

Major Jump mutters something incoherently behind his beard.

Captain Cook winks at you and says "I have to confess to lying quite a lot. But, like the General, I am also now a Buddhist and an elective mute."

Lieutenant Pigeon whispers in your ear "I think the Major said he was a liar"

Sergeant Bash nods enthusiastically and says "Yes! A liar. That's what he said!"

Corporal Punishment offers his opinion: "If you ask me, your ambulance driver has been leading you astray. What if HE's the liar?"

Private Parts plays a harmonica in a melancholy fashion and laments: "Liars? Liars! They're all liars!"

Who do you want to operate on your ankle?

B

I should add that most wrong answers will be a siren, and all answers - wrong or otherwise - posted without an explanation will also be a siren.

Not sure that's going to do much to raise the thread activity, mind.

B

Possibly not.

Primarily I'd want to know which one is the best surgeon. Does it matter whether they are a liar?


Geggs

I'm going to rush in where wise men fear to tread.

I'd go for Private Parts to treat my ankle. Traditionally, medical types in the British Army didn't hold ranks. So, perhaps I'm thinking the question relates to the fact that someone couldn't be a General, for example, if they were in the army for the purposes of medification, but perhaps they were considered "Privates" by virtue of their being in the army at all.

Go on. Hit me over the head with the siren, I'm prepared for it.

Yes, and fully earned for trying to use general knowledge.

You will need to use principles of logic to get the answer here.

B

What silly bugger decided to call it bluelight all of a sudden?

B

That's pretty specialised knowledge, I think you'll find.

But if logic puzzles are once again part of QI it's worth getting the to find out that the game might be becoming interesting again.

General Disaster is a definite liar


lil x

Well, that's true as far as it goes...

B

Assuming this is a fair logic puzzle and that the ambulance driver is telling the truth:

Field Marshal Amplifier says that the Corporal will say he's a liar. This is a lie, as all surgeons claim to be honest. Therefore, the Field Marshal is a liar.

General Disaster wells that he's a mute. He's a liar.

There is only one truthteller, yet Sergeant Bash and Lieutenant Pigeon agree. Therefore both are liars.

Corporal Punishment is lying about the ambulance driver.

That leaves Private Parts and Major Jump.

TRiG.

Hang on. According to the driver, the surgeons *always* lie. And yet the Captain *admits* to lying. So the driver is either misinformed or is also lying. Either way the assumption I used in my previous post is not safe.

TRiG.

Major Jump?

Field Marshall Amplifier: Says the Corporal always lies - the Corporal doesn't lie, he asks a question.

General Disaster: Because Captain Cook doesn't admit to lying ALL the time
(a logical impossibility, anyway), he must be lying; therefore General Disaster must be lying.

Captain Cook: See above.

Lieutenant Pigeon's and Sergeant Bash's statements agree but, since only one surgeon tells the truth,
they must both be liars. We don't know what the Major said, but since no one can truthfully admit to always lying,
the major can't have said that.

Corporal Punishment: Doesn't tell the truth - he simply asks a question.

Private Parts: Says they're all liars, but Corporal Punishment merely asks a question.
Also, since it is a logical impossibility for Corporal Punishment (or anyone)
to truthfully say that they always lie, Field Marshall Amplifier must be lying;
therefore, Private parts must be lying... and we know that one of them tells the truth.

Erm.... might need a bit of work...

I've parsed it several times and I find it inconclusive. I can't rule out 4 people (maybe even 5) due to insufficient data. Major Jump, Corporal Punishment and Private Parts could either be lying or telling the truth. Also, I have no reason to believe the driver's veracity either. And, I don't know if *I'm* a doctor or not so maybe I should heal myself.

Give me a splint and drive me to the hospital in town!

I'm not sure I'd want anyone to operate on my ankle for a fracture.

There is progress towards the correct answer being made here...

B

Are you implying that:

1. Major Jump' is the wrong answer?

2. 'the Corporal doesn't lie, he asks a question.' is incorrect?

1. I'm not going to answer that, as it is obviously pressing for information while trying to avoid a siren.

2. The corporal's voicings should be read as a statement.

B

I'll have to go through it again, then.

While people are working on this, I present a small clue:

The fact that I broke my ankle isn't entirely irrelevant.

B

Sorry, the corporal's voicings should be read as his opinion as stated with a possibly rhetorical question added as well. Neither can be vetted for veracity.