Speed Dating

1 Conversation

Speed Dating?

It's all the rage these days don't you know!

So what is it then, smarty pants?

Well, the theory goes something like this: gather a largish1 number of eligible females in one place. Add the same number of eligible males. Water with some free alcohol and nibbles. Allow each male to talk to each female for a set amount of time.2 At the end of each mini-interview, both parties make their written comments on a secret card, and rate that partner as a Yes, a No or a Maybe.

The next victim... er... potential soulmate comes along and has his alloted time to make a good impression. And so on and so on till the end of the evening. All cards are handed in to the organisers, who see if there are any matching pairs (ie where both partners put Yes!). These lucky punters... er... lovebirds are then informed by email, and can arrange a follow-up date. So in one night you have a large eligibility pool, you get a chance to impress with your personality, not just your looks, and there's no fear of outright rejection.

Have you tried it, then?

Well it just so happens that I'm going along to the inaugral Luxembourg session next week. And it's quite nerve-wracking! Luxembourg is so small a place (the capital city has about 80,000 inhabitants, and the percentage that speak English is much much smaller) that it will be almost impossible to have any sort of anonymity. And imagine the embarrassment factor in meeting another parent from school, or a work colleague, or the guy who works down the chip shop who swears he's Elvis3. But nothing ventured nothing gained - can't make an omelette without breaking eggs - clean meat never fattened a pig. Sorry, I seem to have developed proverbial diary-a there. And while rejection by email might by an awful lot more palatable than face-to-face, the thought of 20 potential 'No's' is rather sombre.

No drugs involved then?

Only the drug of lurrrve, we hope.
Do you think I should make that one of my questions? (Have you, in fact, any speed on you????) What about sussing out their views on drugs - 'What do you think of a zero tolerance approach to drug abuse?' Or should I stick with something safe and boring like 'Been anywhere nice on holiday, then?' Or how about getting down to the real nitty gritty 'Which do you prefer on your toast - smooth or crunchy?'

What are you going to wear?

I'm glad you asked that question, because it has been much on my mind.

  • Do I go for the wonderbra and cleavage look, or will that be too obviously tarty?
  • How about jeans and a T shirt - says comfortable and relaxed? No, could be interpreted as 'doesn't make an effort'.
  • A dress? Too formal.
  • Trouser-suit? Feminist.
  • Make-up? Too artifical.
  • Short skirt? Mutton dressed as lamb.

Oh dear, looks like I'll just have to go in my birthday suit then...

So, spill the beans!

You'll just have to tune in for next week's thrilling installment to see how I got on!


20.11.03 Front Page

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1Usually 20 to 30.2Usually 6 or 7 minutes.3This is a myth of course. There are no chip shops in Luxembourg.

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