h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Should one venture into the confines of this dreadful place, please don't do it if you're looking for enlightenment. The accent alone would make St Augustine think twice about working there - though the inhabitants will say "wot accent". Chronically behind the times, the "yoof" of Witney are starting to ape the Geezer culture of greater London which was started there about 10 years ago. Sovereign rings galore, the new lad will confidently bounce up and down the highstreet with only basic animal instincts engaged.

It is not only the Yoof, who make the town unpleasant. There is a massive proportion of rich house wives who, because Witney is a "Historic Market Town" feel that they can play the part of a psudeo aristocracy. Narrow minded and un reasonable these harpies generally can be found trying to out do each other in the ferocity of their manner to shop workers and waitresses.

I can only hope that global warming will send Witney back to the sea floor, from which it floated up, like a pooh.

That is just such a horrible thing to say... you can't blame a place for the people living in it.

I have as much reason to hate Witney as the next person. My family moved here from Birmingham for my dads job when I was a kid and people here made my life hell because they thought I wasn't good enough. Like anywhere, some of the people who live here are narrow minded and awful but NOT ALL OF US ARE!!!

As for the 'Yoof' you describe, are they really any worse than teenagers in other parts of the country..?

I love Witney, I think it's a beautiful place with nice weather and good facilities. It might not be the fun capital of the Cotswolds but not everyone needs that out of a place to live.

Finally, remember that Witney has changed a lot in the last 20 years. It has grown from an insular rural community to a thriving town with residents from all over the country who have come here for its proximity to London and high standard of living. I think the collective personality of people in the town is still develping...