h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

TIES and BURNING BRAS

I read in the Daily Torygraph, sorry, Daily Telegraph in the Fashion section that girls are now wearing ties as a fashion accessory. Its nothing new is it. Well, good luck to them. I hate the f**king things. I work in an office about three days a week and on one of those days I have to wear a tie. They are uncomfortable and Nerdy and what's worse, when people buy me presents I often get a tie because they know I wear them ergo I must like them.

Men should copy the girls and burn their ties in protest.. It is a symbol of having to conform , oppression, uniformity ( though I quite like uniforms) and class distinction. During the Spanish Civil War 1936-39 , the Anarchists went around shooting anyone who wore a tie , after they got bored of setting churches on fire. Probably there were two of them sitting in a cafe and one (let's call him Pedro),said to the other Juan, " That was good fun, setting a Catholic church on fire, but I'm a bit bored now. What shall we do next? Just then an office worker walked by and Juan said " Bloody bourgeoisie ! Let's shoot anyone wearing a tie today!" Pedro turned around ( I don't know why he wasn't facing him, perhaps it had been his turn to pour the petrol over the pews but Juan did first and so they weren't talking to each other)and said " No , you can't just do that... Oh F**k it, go on then."

I wish I had been a bit cleverer when the girls burnt their bras - We are back in the Seventies now, pay attention atthe back!- in protests. I could have gone around saying- "No, don't do that I'll take it and build a big bonfire with all the others".The girls would have thought me a feminist ( and they would have been right wouldn't they?) and I would now have the biggest tranny bra collection in the world.

Julie Budd