Conspiracy Theories
Created | Updated Sep 26, 2002
We live in strange times. That is not to say any other times are more normal than ours, but we have to agree that things happen around us which cannot be explained by natural laws of physics, the Government, or any logical conclusion.
A classic example is alien abductions. 90% or so of reported alien abductions occur in the USA. This leads to several possible conclusions.
- The aliens want to experiment biologically on people. Americans come apart easily, like a kit model.
- Americans are gullible.
- Other governments cover such stories up. The American government is more honest and report such things truthfully.
- On the other hand, maybe not.
But anyway. I have decided to begin compiling a number of conspiracy theories on this page. If anyone has more, I'll be glad to include them.
And if I suddenly disappear, you know I must have got something right.
CONSPIRACY THEORIES
Pamela Anderson
The American government has come under a lot of fire regarding their viewpoint on stockpiling nuclear warheads. This has lead them to think of more inventive and well hidden places to store the missiles.
Pamela Anderson is a classic example of hiding hazardous materials under the public's nose without us noticing it. She is in fact a highly trained FBI secret agent, instructed with the task of concealing two 50 kilotonne nuclear warheads where she can keep an eye on them.
Pixies, Gnomes and Gremlins
I have a variety of theories on these matters. I suggest you visit my pixies, gnomes and gremlins specific page.
The JFK Assassination, Roswell UFO sightings, etc
These are inordinately popular conspiracy theories, and there are so many other sites devoted to these that I won't waste valuable space drivelling on about them here. See home.earthlink.net/~sixthfloor, www.roswell.org, and in fact most of the rest of the internet.
On a more serious note...
Unchecked conspiracy theories can sometimes lead to widespread paranoia with absolutely horrific consequences. It was a conspiracy theory that was at the heart of the anti-witchcraft trials of the 17th century, and a conspiracy mentality had a lot to do with the rise of Naziism in 1930's Germany.
Thanks to Crymonal for this one.
A dangerous conspiracy
There is another conspiracy, which I cannot put down here for certain reasons. I knew an KGB defector, repositioned by the CIA, who whispered these conspiracy details to me in the dead of night, in a graveyard, in Newport. He disappeared two weeks later. All I can reveal, without being assassinated, is that it involves a top CIA executive, some leather suspenders, three bananas, and a tortoise. I'll shut up now because a window cleaning van with two black suited men in sunglasses inside has just drawn up opposite my house.
Ancient Egypt
The Ancient Egyptians have quite astounding technology for their time. We still cannot understand their culture fully; for example, how did they sharpen their razor blades? How did they convince their millions of slaves that building a multi-million-ton lump of rock would be a really good idea?
Here's a theory. The Egyptians were really a race of aliens, who visited Earth and decided to have a good laugh. Among the pathetic ignorant ape colonies on Earth, they built massive buildings, fantastic architecture and distributed bronze razor blades. This was all with the intention of completely confusing future generations of the apes, who would look back and think, 'Did we really build that?'
Coincidence, fate, or just plain wierd?
Okay, I said I'd avoid JFK theories, but I couldn't resist this one.
Here's some interesting coincidences about the lives of former American presidents Abraham Lincoln and John F Kennedy:
- Abraham Lincoln was elected to Congress in 1846.
John F Kennedy was elected to Congress in 1946. - Abraham Lincoln was elected president in 1860.
John F Kennedy was elected president in 1960. - The names Lincoln and Kennedy each contain seven letters.
- Both were particularly concerned with civil rights.
- Both wives lost children while living in the White House.
- Both presidents were shot on a Friday.
- Both were shot in the head.
- Lincoln's secretary was named Kennedy.
Kennedy's secretary was named Lincoln. - Both were assassinated by Southerners.
- Both were succeeded by Southerners.
- Both successors were named Johnson.
- Andrew Johnson, who succeeded Lincoln, was born in 1808.
Lyndon Johnson, who succeeded Kennedy, was born in 1908. - John Wilkes Booth, who assassinated Lincoln, was born in 1839.
Lee Harvey Oswald, who assassinated Kennedy, was born in 1939. - Both assassins were known by their three names.
- Both names comprise fifteen letters.
- Booth and Oswald were both assassinated before their trials.
- A week before Lincoln was shot he was in Monroe, Maryland.
A week before Kennedy was shot he was in Marilyn Monroe.
For more info...
Rico has written a page about the Roswell Incident
The best conspiracy theory pages on the web are probably:
www.conspire.com - covers all the main conspiracy theories in depth.
www.RealHistoryArchives.com - more fact based, tries to uncover true history.
The Paul McCartney 'Death Clues'
See Bluebottle's page on this at A277328