h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Ok I have done that please comment.

On the Statue of Labourers: it isn't very clear what exactly the Statue of Labourers did. I've had a quick read about it and it seems to have capped wages at pre-Black Death levels and made it compulsory of 'able-bodied' men and women to work. At the moment when you say 'Parliament responded to these demands' it could equally mean that Parliament did something to give them greater freedom of mobility rather than taking it away.

"This proved useless as wages continued to rise."
Why was it useless. Was it just impractical when it came to enforcement?

"When 'Black Prince' Edward III died in 1377"
Edward III was not the Black Prince. It was Edward of Woodstock, his son, who was known by this name. Edward of Woodstock died in 1376 of a 'wasting illness'.

Regarding the first paragraph of 'Failings in the Monarchy and the Church' I think it needs a bit of restructuring. The writing doesn't flow quite as well as it could at the moment, in my opinion. Perhaps something like this:

"When Edward III died in 1377, his brother John of Gaunt made a claim to the throne. [then add a bit about why his claim failed, despite John being 'an able diplomat'] Edward's grandson Richard II was chosen to be king, and by 1381 AD, at 14 years old, had been for some 4 years. At the time the revolt started, his chief advisor (and the power behind the throne) was John of Gaunt." Perhaps you could emphasise how unpopular John was, and how this was a contributing factor to the revolt.

"Parliament passed, in 1380, a third poll tax7, which received royal assent and was introduced to fund this war for France."
You have already mentioned that money was needed to fund the war in France and so perhaps you could combine the two.

Hi laconian

I think I have covered your points please comment.


Bob...

John of Gaunt was Eddie III's son, not his brother.

Ops thanks for the pointer.

The first paragraph of 'Failings in the Monarchy and the Church' is still a bit repetitious.

"when Edward III died in 1377"
"Richard was made king rather than Edward’s son John of Gaunt"
"John made a claim for the throne"

Those three bits have been repeated. I hope I'm making sense .

Thanks laconian. Is this any better...


Bob...

Entry: The Peasants Revolt The Shadow Of 1381 - A20019584
Author: Bob Stafford (Keeper of The Treacle Shadow) - U3151547


Much improved .

Hello Bob

Great entry

Your subheaders have full-stops, and they're unnecessary.

Dates...all of them I'm afraid - house-style is Monday 1 January, so you need to remove all the "th" and "st" etc.

Thursday the 13th June. Thursday the 13th June. <--- repetition

Thanks Bob, shouldn't be too long before you are wearing your t-shirt

GB

Hi Galaxy Babe
All done

Bob...

Looking good, Bob. But is there any reason why "His administration of public affairs is said, furthermore, to have been stained by several acts of violence" is taken out of the text like a quotation?

Hi it is a quotation

Bob...

In that case you'll need to mention where it's quoted from.

Will anon do

Bob, I've now read it all, and it's pretty good.

Can you please read it thorugh yourself again? There are a number of points where you have extra or missing words, missing apostrophes, and so on.

Secondly, Boudicca's revolt didn't have anything to do with taxes. She was angry that the Romans took what was left for her and her daughters in the will of her husband, and at the Iceni's status as a client kingdom. When she protested at being kept from the goods, she was whipped and her daughters raped. Accordingly, she was furious and led a revolt.

All of your footnotes need a full stop at the end.

she was forced to pay money to the Romans as part of a settlement of her husbands will, it was a form of tax and wehe the officials arrived to collect the revolt as you described kocked off.
The point is it was money related.

If you say so, I don't remember that.

Could you clafify it a bit in the entry please? You can link to my entry The Romans in Britain: A Brief History too.

Hi I have done this I am C*"£ at linking giv me a link and I would love to include it