h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

'Whats that old bugger doing now?', enquired Dan Barrel to his wife.

He looked over the garden hedge of his elderly next door neighbour, to see Mr Caligula Porridge 'sneaking' the next door neighbours wheely bin in to his house.

'I expect he's got his reasons.', smiled Tricia his wife.

It was a fairly normal culdesac, that you would expect to find in any sub-urban town in England.

Once out of sight of the Barrel house's kitchen window, however, Caligula Porridge increased his pace somewhat and allowed himself a mild cackle as he trundled the bin towards the apparently-delapidated garden shed hidden by the enormous leylandii hedge surrounding his property.

Gurgling with delight he parked the bin in front of the shed and quickly rummaged through it, eventually discovering six empty yoghurt pots, a cold pizza, and the remains of a joint of ham with scraps of meat still clinging to it.

'Feeding time, me lovely,' cooed Mr Porridge, putting on heavy gauntlets and a crash-helmet, collecting his spoils and preparing to open the surprisingly firmly-secured shed door.