h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Entry: Kevin Carter, Photojournalist - A19243000
Author: Skanky 'Skanks' rich [?] - U931109

I'm still not absolutely convinced that this is ready, but I need to get this reviewed so I can start to move on from it. I've been quite deeply affected by researching this, and I feel it's time to step back and let the good reviewers of PR take over. I've never hovered over the 'Submit' button for so long, so often.

The Apartheid Era, 2nd para: Opposition parties such as Nelson Mandela's African National congress were banned --> African National Congress

The Young Carter, 1st para: move Nelson Mandela link to The Apartheid Era, 2nd para (see above)

the Bang-Bang Club ... The Bang-Bang Club ... the Bang-Bang Club -- some consistency needed.

Bang-Bang Good, 1st para: Two years later, Carter, now working for the Weekly Mail -- perhaps a footnote explaining which Weekly Mail this is.

Alex

Amazing story. You're a gifted writer, Rich.

GB

Good stuff. Didn't the Manic Street Preachers release a song called 'Kevin Carter'?

This is very good, Rich. Sensitive and comprehensive. Very very well done
~W~

Wow. Just wow. Powerful.

There was also tension and violence between the Zulu led Inkatha Freedom Party and the ANC, often at crucial times in negotiating processes, and it was not until the Truth and Reconciliation Commission was established to find the truth about the apartheid years that government involvement was confirmed.
... that it was confirmed that the government had engineered some of this discord.
Just because it took me a moment to get what you were saying the first time.

TRiG.

Thanks guys, all changed. I'm quite reassured that this has gone down well so far. Otto, I didn't mention the Manics song because it seemed an odd postscript, but I've added it as a quote now

Just to add my appreciation for this, Rich - great subject!

I'm not asking you to change anything, but why did you announce in the opening section that he committed suicide, rather than leave it as a surprise ending?

Icy

Wonderful Entry

>>Pulitzer Prize photographer<< - Pulitzer Prize-winning photographer (also, 'Awards' doesn't need to be capitalised in the footnote).

>>Of course, opposition was suppressed, often brutally<< - I don't think you need the 'Of course' there.

>>Zulu led Inkatha Freedom Party<< - Zulu-led

>>a black waiter who was being abused, he was beaten up by other soldiers and abused as a...<< - avoid the repetition of 'abused'? Castigated? Reviled?

>>becoming known as The Bang-Bang Club, a name coined...<< - you don't capitalise the 'The' anywhere else - also, right at the start, it's in italics.

Footnote 3 - 'prize' needs an initial capital.

>>the notorious shot for which he is remembered<< - best remembered?

>>Landing near the village of Ayod, the Carter and Silva<< - lose the 'the'.

Footnote 5 - does that need more detail? Who said it was true and why isn't it?

>>then signed up with the Reuters news agency<< - as at all points after that, no italics on 'Reuters'.

>>the paramilitary Afrikaner Weerstandsbeweging (AWB)<< - since it's a proper name, no italics I'd suggest (none of the others are, Inkatha for instance).

>>say that the photographer '...adjusting his lens<< - ellipses don't look right there: "say that the photographer, 'adjusting his lens"?

This is strong stuff indeed. I finished reading this totally gripped.

(Because of which - the fourth and fifth headers seem a little too 'light' to me).

Icy, I don't know why, but I felt while writing this that the best way approach an introduction was to write a few lines as a brief biography. Perhaps it does spoil the end, I don't know, but with everything to come I really didn't know what to say. It you have a better idea, please say so and I'll give it a go

Trin, I've done those - thanks for being so thorough. The only one I haven't changed is 'the notorious shot for which he is remembered', because there really is just one shot that most people remember him for. Do a Google image search for him and you'll see what I mean!

(Just did - and I do see what you mean )

No, I didn't suggest you changed it, Rich - it's a great article any way you read it. I was just interested in hearing why you chose to write it that way - maybe I've read too many others which are more narrative in style.

I think Carter is fairly obscure compared to most subjects chosen for EG Entries - if I'd written about Kurt Cobain, for example, most readers would already know the ending, so an intro like this would be unnecessary. What makes Carter's story especially poignant is obviously his suicide, and perhaps that hook makes some readers want to read to the end more than if they had no idea what's to come.

Top stuff.

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Congratulations

Well done Skanks - this is a brilliant Entry

Fabulous!