h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*Peregrin suddenly realises that there are peanuts in the room*

PEANUTS!!! GRRROUGGGHGHGHGHHH

*Peregrin jumps on the packets of peanuts and scoffs them all*

Mmmm, peanuts.

Sorry, I just can't help myself.

*ticks off another day on her good fairy tally, realises there's only another two days left and smiles to herself*
Peregrin you could have just asked you know!
*Hands round peanuts and G|_|'s to Bluebottle and Peregrin, peanuts and a C|_| to EV and peanuts and a |_| to Joe, then leaves a G|_| on the bar for Menza*
There you go and I'm watching you Peregrin don't go and steal everyone elses peanuts

*asleep*

Thank you, you're very kind Tinkerbell, you're wonderful, (vote for me) you're the bestest Tinkerbell ever, etc
*starts munching his way through the large barrel of peanuts that Tinkerbell put in front of him*

So Tinkerbell, what did you get kicked out of Brownies for?

Don't want no peanuts, but a would be nice

anyone in here to serve or do I have to help myself?

I'll join you one for the road before I waste some more of my easily available petrol

poor France

but thank god we don't need no petrol in here...
but imagine, we would be running out of Guiness - horrible

Their petrol is still a third cheaper than ours
We British seem to never complain - perhaps we ought to occasionally.

I fully support the high tax. 3p per litre may not seem like much but that is £1bn off public spending. Also, there is very little fuel oil left. Current optimistic estimates put there to be less than 10 years worth.

Bets invest in walking boots then.

*stomps around in her hiking boots whilst pointing to her car which has a full tank of petrol*

*wonders if anyone has been watching the news as there is not a single petrol station in the north of England which still has fuel left, and she knows as she's driven past the queues outside the stations looking smug*

Anyway here you go everyone have some G|_|'s, C|_|'s and |_|'s, theres bags of peanuts for anyone that wants them, crisps over here and a block of dark chocolate for Ian
And a for Peregrin and you have a gift too...

*passes over a foot spa with aromatherapy oils already in place, places his feet in it, adds the water and switches it on*

Anyone for anything else whilst I'm serving?

*waits patiently then downs a before swiftly drinking another before sitting down with another and grumbling about stuff*

Hmmm...

*remembers she was asked a question by Ian, so puts on her smiley fairy face again and goes to talk to him*
Yes well, the brownie thing was not my fault, I was victimised and grossly misjudged... I got asked to leave due to immense trouble making which whilst I may agree is true it was still an unjust punishment

Ok I need a stiff |_| I've jsut seen the draw for the club singles.

You have a car now Tinkerbell? Last time I asked what you were driving, I think it was an office chair, under investigation by FIA stewards... Anyway, I had been under the impression that we were starting to follow suit on the petrol in this country, so I too was a bit confused.

I gather that some of the unions involved are starting to talk about the upcoming 'winter of discontent' if something isn't done about the prices. 3 day weeks have been mentioned too. Before you know it they'll be releasing Shaft again.

Thanks for the chocolate by the way! Wouldn't mind a if you're still there.

A double usual. I just heard they are carrying petrol away from the stations in PTFE drinks bottles.

Well I'm glad to say that I don't drive, and I intend to travel around Britain in the next couple of weeks by train.

In some ways I hope that the whole of Britain comes to a standstill, it'd be nice to have a few days without cars everywhere. I'm sure everyone would appreciate it once they get used to it

I just got told that if we can't get to work because of the lack of fuel then thats OK.

It won't count as leave or sick days.

Damn, there's still a lot of petrol left down here in Germany

I just hope the bus runs out of fuel.

*ticks off another day then attempts a grin as only one day is left*
You'd better get in your requests for drinks and stuff as I no longer have to be nice and helpful after tomorrow Oh hang on what was it again a G|_|, a ||_|| and for me...
*fetches drinks, hands them round whilst passing a G|_| to Ringo*
Sorry if that's not your usual
*wanders back over to Ian*
Mmmmm, I have a vague approximation for a car, often it makes car like efforts but only if you're driving above 40mph or still in 1st gear. It also has thrusters so when you switch into 2nd gear you seem to pull about 10g and everyone gets flung backwards as you accelerate off at 60mph. One of my mates thinks it's a cement mixer which has been converted for track racing but that's ok as I refuse to give him lifts now