An African Adventure - ...Out Of Part 1

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This is the first time that the Knolly Estate has allowed the great man's memoirs to be published. What follows is the forty-sixth section of 'An African Adventure'.

We descended thoughtfully into the waiting launch, with Lieutenant Ladybouy and his men bringing up the rear along with our belongings. At that moment, it seemed obvious to me that we would not be setting foot on board La Mer again. The wind was blowing up a little and the once-calm water was now getting slightly choppy — which made getting aboard rather awkward for Bertie and I, the two of us having been landlubbers for so many months now. The coxswain saluted and welcomed us aboard while the men took up their stations and handed over their weapons to a waiting quartermaster. The messy part of their job was now done — at least, we hoped so.

As we settled ourselves for the short trip across the bay, I noticed how uncomfortable Ladybuoy seemed with the whole situation, ill-at-ease with his position of either rescuer or abductor. Thus, I decided to try and make conversation with the fellow once he had assured himself that our bags contained the various souvenirs of our brief (but educational) stay.

'Tell me, Lieutenant, are you related by any chance to Sir Hughnon Ladybuoy, Ambassador to Siam?' I asked breezily.

Bertie smirked and quipped, 'I've known a few Ladybuoys in my time.'

Ladybouy coughed, happy to be asked a question that didn't revolve around recent events. 'Indeed. He is my uncle, and the only close relative that I can call upon.'

Bertie continued, 'Oh, but are you not of the Norfolk Ladybuoys? Quite an interesting family. Well, those whom I've met.'

He nodded. 'Father and Mother have the estate there, but disinherited me since I joined the Navy. I'm the first sailor. All the rest have been Army.'

I nodded in sympathy. 'And now you are in Naval Intelligence?'

'Ha, yes! Never really found my sea legs, so after a few years in the Channel Fleet, an opportunity arose which led to my being out here. I must confess, Commander, that I have followed your career with some degree of envy.'

I smiled at this and saw an opportunity to probe around our current situation. Bertie looked up and I was about to blink across to him when I remembered what had happened aboard La Mer. 'I assume that you are well-versed in current codes and the various methods of transmission?'

'Oh yes. I must say, though, you don't find many using Blenkinsop's Blinking. Bit outdated these days, but I boned up on it after speaking to Stoker Grimes over there.' He jerked his head in the direction of the chap we had overcooked in the sauna. 'Good man in a scrap, and very good at observation.' Ladybuoy leaned closer and whispered, '... and about the ladies' undergarments... you are not alone, but don't mention it to the Admiral. I... ah... can help, if you wish. Have had some experience with this meself.' He tried to wink in a conspiratorial manner, but his face went into grimace as if he had a toothache. He could blink, but he could not wink.

Bertie laughed, rather too loudly. 'You know how it is; one has to make use of what one can to blend in. Use all available cover, what?'

'Quite so,' I replied, 'but tell me a little more about this episode. Assuming it was you following us most of the time, why terrorise Mr LeTang so?'

'Yes! And who was it that tried to clout me with a lead pipe in the library?' asked Bertie, understandably indignant.

'Mr Le Tang, while a good civil servant, tends to be a bit obstructional and I was running out of time. Fear not, the messages will be returned now that we have you and Mr Harrison-Harrison under control, so to speak. As for the physical actions in the library, well, that was Spatchcock being a tad overzealous, I'm afraid.'

Bertie started to fume and splutter, mumbling something about a 'gummy gargoyle' under his breath, and so I quickly diffused the situation by kicking him in the shin.

Ladybuoy sensed the tension and tried to diffuse same. 'Gentlemen! Our ship awaits,' he called, pointing out the St George. As we rounded the headland and headed toward the busy dockyard, the mighty ship filled the view, fair dwarfing many of the other vessels that Bertie and I had spotted earlier that morning.

The decks were dotted with a battery of guns, but the main event were the twin nine-inch guns that pointed towards the bow in a very business-like manner. We all agreed that we would not like to be on the receiving end of that lot. We knew the St George had only arrived that day, yet judging by the hurly-burly it looked as if she was being readied to depart once more.

'Biggest ship we have at the moment,' said Ladybuoy. 'Edgar Class. It's a damnable shame that I will not get a chance to sail with you... I mean, on her.'

HMS St George loomed like a black-and-yellow cliff above us, and while not as awe-inspiring as a battleship (or even the old Victory moored up at Portsmouth), she still seemed enormous, given our viewpoint from a 15ft launch at sea-level.

'Not often you get to come aboard ship from this side, is it, Knolly?' remarked Bertie, rubbing his leg. Poor fellow! He was going to be black and blue by the end of the day; still, it did serve to focus his mind. I looked across at Ladybuoy.

'Indeed not. And can I assume our unorthodox method of embarkation is because no-one is to know that we are aboard?'

Ladybouy gave a wan smile and got up to speak to the coxswain as we made ready to come alongside. Bertie took the opportunity to move seats to sit beside me.

'Knolly, what on Earth is going on here? This is certainly a lot more hush-hush then even we are used to. And what about Kite? And Daphne? And that cove Spatchcock. I don't like him at all. I owe him one,' he said, rubbing the back of his head as well as his knee.

'Bertie, I fear that events at home have overtaken us while we have journeyed across Africa. After all, we did take a rather roundabout route to engage with Rhodes.'

'Yes, but...'

'It wasn't our fault, I agree. However, it would seem that we made better progress than was expected and it seems to have interfered with our European cousins.'

'Hang on, though! What about the Kaiser's blessing and all that?'

I nodded. 'I think he was banking on us just to ensure the Countess delivered. A sort of insurance policy — and our government played along for their own reasons. I believe that we have all been played. You, me, Biggfat, the whole bally Service.... And now, just as we are getting close to stopping Rhodes, someone doesn't want us to.'

'The telegram, then. Were we not meant to see it?'

'Hmm... I think we were in the wrong place at the wrong time. I'm sure the Colonial Office expected us to be in Cape Town months ago and not enjoying ourselves up in the north. Look at what has happened. The plan I had all those months ago is happening. It is just the Germans and Boers running the show, with the Portuguese watching from the sidelines.'

'So if Jameson's raid goes ahead and is successful, Chamberlain will say, "Well done that man Rhodes, but that's far enough." European harmony and all that. And if it fails, he'll shrug his shoulders and say, "Nothing to do with me, he's a loose cannon that Rhodes... where's your evidence?" Do you agree?'

Bertie was making sense. The kick on the shin had definitely worked. 'It does sound plausible. Some deal has been struck between His Majesty's Government and the German government and I'm sure whatever happens, it will be bad for everyone. Chamberlain must have wet himself when he found out that the Service had acted on chance conversations at the Colonial Office and then they lost communication with us.'

There was a slight bump as our launch and the mighty St George came together.

'Right ho! Time to see this Admiral fellow and to see if any more of the puzzle comes to light.'

'I just want to know where I'm spending Christmas....' muttered Bertie.

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