Christmas Poetry Competition 2006
Christmas Gives Me Gastric Ulcers by Clive the Flying Ostrich
Loathsome piss giblets: not snow ever once I seen.
Rancour feeble mutterings of wrinkled regina.
Balding tinsel falling off listing plastic fire-hazard.
Burnt offerings and suspect sherry make my tummy gurgle something awful.
What's on telly — bugger all.
and no-more aftereight mints.
Miserable tidings to the lot ern' yer.
I'm going back to bed.