h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

i should imagine pita fatialofa is quite at home lifting cars - he was a piano-shifter in auckland - i ended up stopped in traffic next to his truck once - and besides which he is quite huge - arms like tree trunks (or as Quinny would say "look at those arms go!")

Good call.

It has been hard to find much humour in the World Cup coverage so far.

hey if you're looking for some humour about the world cup (well rugby in general) try this

http://www.nzherald.co.nz/nzherald99/story.cfm?theClassification=sport&theStoryID=17186

i don't usually delve too deeply into the herald sports section but this morning i did and was rewarded with a big chuckle it's worth it for the final comment alone.

enjoy
span

Seeing how the All Blacks were motivated by performing "The Haka" before their world cup games, the other nations were asked to suggest pre-match rituals of their own.

The England team will chat about the weather, wave hankies in the air and attach bells to their ankles for a while before moaning about how they invented the game, and gave it to the world, and how it's not fair that everyone can beat them now.

The Scotland team will chant "You lookin' at me Jimmy?" before smashing an Irn Bru bottle over their opponents heads.

The Ireland team will spilt into two, with the Southern half performing a Riverdance, while the Northerners march the Traditional route from their dressing room to the pitch, via their opponents dressing room.

Unfortunately the Welsh suggestion has been vetoed by the RSPCA.

Argentina will unexpectedly invade a small part of opposition territory claim it as their own "Las In-Goals-Areas" and then be forceably removed by the Stewards.

Two members of the South African team will claim to be more
important than the other thirteen whom they will coral between the posts whilst they claim the rest of the pitch for themselves.

The Americans will not be there until half time. In future years
they will alter the records to show that they were in fact the most
important team in the tournament and Hollywood will make a film called "Saving No8 Lyle".

Five of the Canadian team will sing La Marsaillaise and hold the
rest of the side to ransom.

The Italian team will arrive in red penis substituting cars,
sexually harass the female stewards and then run away.

The Spanish will sneak into the other half of the pitch mow it and
then claim that it was all in line with the European "grass quotas".
They will then curl up under the posts and have a kip until half time.

The Japanese will attempt to strengthen their team by offering good
salaries to the key opposition players (over 35) and then run around
the pitch at high speed in a highly efficient manner before buying the
ground (with a subsidy from the UK Government).

The French will declare they have new scientific evidence that the
opposition are in fact all mad. They will then park lorries across
the halfway line, let sheep lose in the opposition half and burn the
officials.

The Australians will have a barbie before negotiating lucrative
singing and TV contracts in the UK. They will then invite their mates to come and live with them in Sheperds Bush before beating up all the women on the touchline.