h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Life is far too important to be take seriously.

...err....that's TAKEN seriously,

Life is far too important to be taken seriously.

To quote J.R. "Bob" Dobbs, "The stupider it seems, the more important it probably is"

http://www.subgenius.com
http://www.subgenius.org
http://www.subgenius.net

actually, i believe his best quote is "a true gentleman is never unintentionally rude."

another good one is
"we're all in the gutter; some of us are looking up at the stars"
(may be missing a word)

It is better to be beautiful than good. But....it is better to be good than to be ugly.

My personal favorite isn't exactly a single quote, but:

"I love society. The stupid people never talk, and the clever people never listen."
"I think the stupid people talk a great deal."
"Really? I never listen."

It is dangerous to be sincere unless you are also stupid.

If one tells the truth, one is sure sooner or later to be found out.

Those who see any difference between soul and body have neither.

A man can be happy with any woman as long as he does not love her.

I do not play cricket because it requires me to assume such indecent postures.

A woman with no past has no future.

There's nothing in the world like the devotion of a married woman; it's a thing no married man knows anything about.

After a good dinner one can forgive anybody, even one's own relatives.

Democracy means simply the bludgeoning of the people, by the people, for the people.

Men always want to be a woman's first love; women have a more subtle instinct: what they like is to be a man's last romance.

Everybody who is incapable of learning has taken up teaching.

OK, rather than keep sending messages with a quote in each, here's an extra-special treat for all the Wildeans out there:

We live in age when unnecessary things are our only necessities.

We really have everything in common with America nowdays except, of course, language.

The world is a stage, but the play is badly cast.

Duty is what one expects from others.

Wicked women bother one; good women bore one; that is the only difference between them.

Being natural is simply a pose.

Morality is simply the attitude we adopt towards people whom we generally dislike.

Nowdays to be intelligible is to be found out.

As soon as people are old enough to know better, they don't know anything at all.

Everyone should keep someone else's diary.

Never buy a thing you don't want merely because it is dear.

A gentleman is one who never hurt's anyone's feelings unintentionally.

He was always late on principle; his principle being that punctuality is the thief of time.

Those who are faithless know the pleasures of love; it is the faithful who know love's tragedies.

Whenever cannibals are on the brink of starvation, Heaven in its infinite mercy sends them a nice plump missionary.

The Book of Life begins with a man and woman in a garden, and it ends with Revelations.

A cynic is a man who knows the price of everything and the value of nothing.

In America the President reigns for four years and journalism governs forever and ever.

Woman begins by resisting a man's advances and ends by blocking his retreat.

One should always play fairly when one has the winning cards.

Laughter is not a bad beginning for a friendship, and it is the best for ending one.

No man should have a secret from his wife; she invariably finds out.

The advantages of the emotions is that they lead us astray.

One should always be in love; that is the reason on should never marry.

One's real life is so often the life that one does not lead.

When people agree with me I always feel that I must be wrong.