h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Everyone here is cordially invited to my party(A481853
Have a cucumber sandwich...
And these stuipid darwinian people,don't moan about them,they're striking a blow for genetics

Deja vu!

all over again...
And yet more evidence(as if it was needed) of the absence of intelligent terrestrial life :
This is a direct quote from a tag off a marks and spencer item:
"In the interest of safety,it is advisable to keep your child away from fire & flames"
Well duh.If you need to be told that,you shouldn't really be haveing kids....

Yeah. Kids don't come with instructions.

Ain't that the truth.
Immediately after my daughter was born and wrapped up, the midwife thrust her at me. I was reluctant to take hold of such a fragile item and said that I'd no experience of that sort of thing. This prompted the comment "Well are you going to start getting used to it now or do you want us to keep her here until she's old enough for school?"
Collapse of bemused father.

One word: yuck!

I have all of them except for the one I don't have, and it's Zelda one for SNES.

And Yes, the Darwin winners have improved the gene pool.. Too bad some of them have left droplets before removing themselves... In fact, iirc a few years ago that was the tie-breaker -- It was down to two equally deserving recipients... One of them had a child, so the other won -- because he'd not left traces behind.

'Nonnie

I heard once that a recent winner died from being buried under elephant dung.

now thats talent

Talent?
You don't need talent to die an unfortunate death, who was it died from a fractured skull, after being hit on the head by a dropping tortoise? Now ~that~ was unfortunate. The tortoise, btw, was accidently {I presume} dropped by a passing eagle...
I am talking millenia ago here, I will find this out...
I have the book I am quoting from, it's just a question of finding it...
It was definately a famous person.
I will return!!!

PHEW!!!!!!!!!!

Aristotle?
Socrates?
One of those Brazilan footballers.

I don't know. I never heard that one before.

http://www.darwinawards.com/

The mobile phone:A triumph of technology over common sense.

[YK] And let us not forget ... computers!

[Mackenzie] What about them?

[YK] I've forgotten.

Computers are just a giant practical joke to see how long people will wait for things to load,try to get some obscure button to work,or how long people will continue to buy things that are obsolete in 6 months.

[Cut to Bill Gates, at a security center]

[Gates] [laughing] Ha-ha! Look at how long THAT guy's waiting!

God bless the darwin awards! I have a disturbing love of the macabre...


By the way, Join my guild! www.h2g2.com/U142820

[YK] I'd probably look at it, except that I'm not cynical.

[Mackenzie] Me neither.

Don't worry, you'll get there.

'Nonnie

[Both] D'OH!