h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Does anyone out there know how to create columns in h2g2?

Through implementation of a preposting nonoccupational verification exercise
and investigation of the non-textual character component paradigm - htmlised or non-htmlised
keyboarding an inadequate functional response matrix was produced.

Recommended relative query vectoring of preceding horizontal dynamic spacing issue
is to refer material to active technical personel pertaining to the online service system implementation
in question.

Suggested process insertion of such may create an increased probability curve for the
involvement of a positive result generator.

Wow, gee and golly gosh

Your kind help will be brought to the attention of the editors of the Oxford Dictionary, Websters and the Small Book of Rhyme.

I'm certain Webster would be turning in his grave. Actually his grave is a morbid rotiserie due to the kind of stuff that passes for written communication these days.

Apologies for the previous entry, I got caught watching a N. American business news program and became infected with obfuscitis.

Your obfuscation was endearingly charming in a way that wordsmiths, blacksmiths and people from Hammersmith would have created lyrical millenium monuments about.

As they say in Wales "a Sospan Fach never hurt anyone"

What's a Sospan Fach? ('scuse my lack of Welsh fluency - I've only spent a few days in the mountains around there, intrigued by the language and pronunciation of place names with "ll"s in them). If you say "Sospan Fach" wrong, out loud in public (on the bus at rush hour) it sounds rather painful or even sadistically hostile.

Living in the the continent of the Kingdom of Obfuscation - this is one of my pet hobbies (peeves?).

Derivation of the non-comprehensible prehensile post-literate obfuscationism paradigm system to put it mildly

Watching one of my favourite sources of "illiteratus" - N. American "business" TV programs - I learnt that not only is there a "high-end" and a "low-end" but also a "middle-end".

A Sospan Fach is what Welsh people use to cook their leeks in (a small sauepan)

The middle end could be from middle earth, perhaps on the Road to Isengard

"Forty-two. Master Legolas!" he cried. 'Alas! My axe is notched: The forty-second had an iron collar on his neck'.

oops - saucepan - a transliteration of the first order has visited a plague on my spelling

So then a fach is a small thing in Welsh - Sospan is what I feared it might be - I am glad to hear Fach is not a verb. I suppose that sospan is sort of like some words in Japanese where they take the English word and make it palatable in Japanese - like Birru (spelling? if that means anything, could be wrong). I understand "bottle" has a similar word in Japanese with an "ru" on the end of it. Maybe you know more than I do - My main contact with Japanese associates is the occasional business meeting - They love the snow here, etc. But I wouldn't personally go so far as to take pictures of the snow blizzard blowing accross the highway while I drive them to the office.

I don't really know any Japanese, but it fascinates me, purely because it is supposed to take an anglophone Westerner 2 lifetimes to learn, whereas any goof in Japan picks it up in a couple of years.

Origato.

I just remembered an old M. Python sketch about the Welsh martial art of Llap Goch - any idea what that really means? This art is that of attacking your enemy before they even know you are an enemy, or even exist.

MadMunk is a Welshman arguing in Welsh on another forum. I will ask them......

Do you still want to know how to do columns?
BTW, as i've mentioned on the other forum, Goch means red, but i don't know what Llap means..... I've been (unreliably) informed that Llap is made up......

Do you have Llap Dancers in Wales?

And yes I still need to know how to do columns Madmunk - if you would be so kind

The list of words on this entry needs them badly

Right... columns can be made using tags... but i'm not sure the exsct syntax, so i'll look it up for you soon....