h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

People who come in the room in the middle or near the end of a programme and say "What's happened?" Oh right - like I'm going to miss the next 10 minutes of the programme filling them in on what they have missed. off! If you want to know then come in when the programme starts.

Oh! and men on the tube that think it's OK to rub their crotches against you when it gets a little crowded. No need. Pervs.

And finally for now...

People that make a cup of instant coffee and only wash off the bowl of the spoon. What about all that congealed coffee half way up the handle???

ARSENAL

Over emphasis of the word "million" on tv shows - particularly on the lottery show and even on some news reports. No need to emphasize - we know it's a big amount thanks.

Presupposition on TV ads. Example: "Which one will you choose?". None of them. Go away.

People who think it is easy to write books...

"Oh, I might write a book when I'm older"

What about? You're boring! Go away!

When no one answers my postings... Now go, all ye people, and answer them.



Y.

I've rarely seen any of your postings!

Aah, the story of my life...

For that matter, I also hate how the topics of conversations just drift off and off and off.

No, I don't actually.

What I really hate is when I contradict myself.

Y.

Maybe you should post some more?

I really hate grumpy people I mean theres always someone worse off.

Also when people ignore you cause there in a strop for something silly like you ate there marsbar they had been saving for the last 3 months.

I walked into the office a few months back and someone offered me their cake they didn't want, so I accepted it graciously and was just about to eat it when a (now thankfully) ex-colleague of mine complained he wasn't getting some cake. I pretended to lick the last small slice (which was mine anyway) and he stormed out of the office in a hissy madam fit. Then brooded for 2 hours after. What a juevenile git!

So would I! It's not some silly issue there matey!

It's cake!!

But its mine! All Mine! MINE!!!!!!

*Puts teacher hat on before ranting*

Sat- If it's a possive, i.e. belongs to someone or something, there is an ' before the s - as in "the dog's ball"- so it can be arranged as "the ball that belongs to the dog". If it's a contraction, i.e. there's a letter missing, and ' goes in where the letter is missing, as in "didn't" is short for "did not".

The exception is "its" there is no ' in a possesive its. So "it's" is always short for "it is", and never means "x belongs to it". There is no such word as "its'". Under *any* circumstances. Ever

My real petty hate, that actually causes me to scream- incorrect apostraphies. Honestly, it's so fxcking simple! If you don't know, *ask* someone. Don't just guess. Seeing things like "video's" or "vacancie's" drives me nuts. Sorry Sat, nothing personal.

"People that make a cup of instant coffee and only wash off the bowl of the spoon. What about all that congealed coffee half way up the handle??? "

I agree entirely!

I seem to be the only person i know who actually cleans the whole piece of cutlery. Typically, when eating at friends, i have to hold the offending cutlery with my fingertips and try to ignore the years of hand grease/old food transfering itself onto my hands..

Come on guys!! it's in the soapy water, just wash the the whole bleedin thing!

Cookery programmes with wobbly, funky camera work. Stop. Please.

Current affairs programmes like Panorama that try to make themselves trendy with silly camera work- it looks like it's been filmed on a camcorder and it makes me feel

Stockings that have ladders in em when you take them out the packs

Silly, 'cool' words like-
Blag- old speak for robbing, now used with alarming frequency on radio 1.
Sleb. Sorry, do you mean 'Celebrity'?
Bling Bling- a reference to riches, or jewellry.