h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I've been wanting to do this kind of thing for YEARS. Thanks for the opportunity!


Adare (verb)
Of American pharmaceutical companies, to frighten the populace into demanding that their doctors put them on more drugs. See also: Xilokastron


Ad Dali (noun)
A television advertisement or ad campaign, usually filmed in black-and-white, which does nothing but confuse the viewers.


Ad Diwaniyah (noun)
A supremely irritating advertising campaign, thought by its creators to be brilliant, but in actuality causes the populace to respond with annoyance, disgust, or violence. Hence, also an utterly failed advertising campaign which actually drives customers to the company's competition.


Arkansas (noun)
A name which is not pronounced according to the way it is spelt.


Bergen-op-Zoom (noun)
The ear-splitting cacophony made by an accelerating motorcycle at 2:30 in the morning by the rotten b*****d of a biker who wants to startle everyone out of his/her peaceful sleep.


Brixham (noun, Archaic)
A builder who tidies up after himself at the end of the work day.


Chau Phu (noun)
Any completely made-up dish sold as a joke in an Eastern restaurant to see if Westerners will fall for it.


Chelston (noun)
A diabolically explosive sneeze which cannot be controlled under any circumstance, and that occurs at a public entertainment, such as The Proms.


Cockington (noun)
An innocent word or phrase which causes the feeble-minded, immature, and teenagers to dissolve into fits of giggles. A prime example of a cockington is the scientific name of an early ape-man, Homo erectus.


Cuyahoga Falls (plural noun)
The accidents and mishaps which befell unprepared explorers in the New World, which served only to amuse any Native American spectators.


Goodwick (noun)
An utterly conscientious and law-abiding citizen, who is, in fact, a malicious b*****d taking great glee in his evildoings. For example, the person who drives exactly the speed limit and obeys all traffic laws, purposefully infuriating the mile-long tailback of speeders and reckless drivers behind him.


Ibiza (noun)
Like a torquay (qv), only a foreign place name which one's own countrymen are unable to pronounce correctly.


Nettilling (participial verb)
Carrying out an exciting internet romance.


Oujda (noun)
Any item of gaudy paraphernalia employed by fraudulent psychics: enormous dangly earrings, Latvian scarves, shiny aquarium-stones, Dream-Catcher hoops, &c.


Paignton (noun)
Any one of the ridiculously excess letters in names like Cholmondley and Featherstonehaugh.


Phuket (noun)
A remark or comment, thought by the perpetrator to be witty and original, but which has, in fact, been made millions of times before, and is more likely to incite extreme irritation and/or violence. Derived from the place in Thailand, the name of which people insist on mispronouncing in the mistaken belief that doing so is funny.


Torquay (noun)
A place name in one's own country which foreigners are unable to pronounce correctly.


Vroomshoop (verb)
Of motorcyclists, to be mystified as to why other motorists despise them so much, while refusing to take into account that it's because they (the motorcyclists) drive even more insanely recklessly than anyone else.


Xilokastron (noun)
Generic term for any new drug with a ridiculous number of Vs, Xs, Ys, and Zs in the name that is touted by American pharmaceutical companies as something you simply cannot live without, but they will not tell you what it actually does. See also: Adare


Zuider Zee (noun)
An exaggerated Westcountry accent affected by locals in a pub as soon as city-folk or tourists enter the establishment, in the hopes that this will prove endearing and prompt the outsiders to buy them drinks.

You've been collecting these, haven't you?

Is there really a place called Vroomshoop?

I don't know if either of the authors still spend much time on h2g2 - we may have to take this entry over.

B

Nope, haven't been saving them up, really. Someone from another forum to which I belong pointed this place out to me (us both being familiar with the two "Liff" books already), and I got inspired. Just sat down with an atlas a couple of days ago and started plugging in cool place-names for things I see all the time. };D I was thinking of doing another batch sometime next week....

As for Vroomshoop, it's in the Netherlands, around the Northeast quadrant. Cool name, huh? };D

Right, if I get a minute, I'll re-write the code for this page and add in the new ones.

The original authors did leave a link to their homepage, where they were kicking off the project anew (again ) - I'll see if I can dig it out.

B

Cool! Thanks, mate!