h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Well done, Alex !

Excellent stuff

Hope you get lots of lovely comments

Well here's one:

I really like this Alex, I eagerly await part II. There is going to be a part II isn't there?

Yep - I've written it all the way up to part ten so far.

Do you know how it ends yet?

Errr... maybe

You *do* know how it ends. Don't you ?

I don't even know whether swans are meant to quack or not, or whether the opening few chapters are too confusing and difficult to follow...

Now he's looking for the sympathy vote

Is this going to be like the salmon of doubt where you give up half way through and we never know the ending (because you HAVEN'T GOT ONE!) or like the x-files where you build it up over years and years and you have an ending and it's awful?

It could run for years. But it's a good yarn

I'm thinking it will either wander along merrily for a while then cease to exist (I do have an ending, but I don't have a middle ), or it might just get finished one day. I think the first few bits need more work, though.

Well you could possibly refine them in a P-G-Woodhouse-no-the-rhythm-of-that-gag-isn't-quite-right-goddammit kind of way but they read pretty well as they are.

Ok, it's just that I've had criticisms of the first few bits in the world of real life - ie people without the hootoo mindset may not 'get' the story quite the same way.

Well my wife can't read the Dirk Gentley novels Alex, she finds them too confusing (which isn't unreasonable, they are pretty confusing). The fact that cedric turns out to be a swan, for example, will confuse peolple firstly because you have anthrapamorphised him and secondly because you never explicitly say it. The first action sets up the joke (if you want to call it that) and the second gives the reader some credit for being able to get it. This will confuse some people but that's not necessarily a failing of the book. Loads of people can't get past the fact that science fiction is all made-up names and plastic forheads, but that doesn't necessarily mean it's badly made.

I've added a couple of sentences to the original version at A13335932 -

- first paragraph: He knew for a fact that his feathers were getting quite ruffled over the whole thing, but that was all he knew for the time being.

- last paragraph: Cedric decided that he had finished doing the quacking thing for now, falling asleep with his head tucked up against a stale toilet roll.

Do you think they add to the story, or do they spoil it in some way?

Personally I would have left it as it was. I've read my original message again and I'm not at all sure I was very clear. Yes, the story will be confusing to some people but only for precisely the reasons why others will enjoy it. The fact that the Swan thing is confusing is not a problem, it worked well the way it was for me. Don't worry too much about it.

Ok, I've dropped the first of the two new sentences. I'll stop worrying now

The key thing here is to trust your own judgement. The first two parts are imaginative, engaging and funny. There is no reason not to imagine that the rest will be good as well. Of course some people will not like it, but as long as you like it, go with what you think.