h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Mission: Protect The Great One
Means: To be explained

Okay, I got the front door. I'll be hiding right there, under the bush. I recommend Monshari as our Plainclothes officer, as she's got the Magic Badge and is great at grovelling. Okay, we need a Constable, a Police Officer, and a Canadian Mountie, and various other hidden officers. Someone should hang from the ceiling, like in those cool detective movies. Sign up here:

All this for moi? i feel so privilaged!

Sign me up as a secret service officer. I want to be the one who throws himself in front of Madmunk to take the bullets for him. And I'll beat anyone senseless who bothers him with my baseball bat.

Of course, by that last bit I mean that I'll use my baseball bat to beat up anyone who bothers Madmunk, not that I'll beat up anyone who uses my baseball bat to bother Madmunk. Ahem.

Just call me Big Boss Lee.

"Now Lee's a big ole' cat
With a big ole' baseball bat
All he wants is plenty dough-re-mi

Now the kids they wanna ball
And they hate to hear last call
Time to go and check on Mr. Lee

And we'll find a place where we can sing out

Whoa, everybody knows
Well if you're thirsty after three
Got to talk to Big boss Lee"

Ermm.... sure..... you can take as many bullets for me as you like.
And if you want to wave your bat around menacingly, make sure you do it with style...... kewl.....

Ok great! I think I'll have my beard on- let everyone know the posse doesn't mess around .

Madmunk, never fear. You'll probably make it to 2063 after all, with all this protection and stuff.

I took some internet-quiz-thingy that said I was going to die sometime around 2040......so don't rely on just me for protection for those last 20-30 years......

I feel safe now that Your all here to protect me

Oops, I took a 4 week vacation from my protection job, but I'm back and ready to protect!

*zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz*

I feel SO safe now that your back....
Hey! those eyes are PAINTED on your lids!!!
Frink.... Frink?...... FRINK!!!!
*slap*
Wake up!

*peers down from chandelier* ... Did someone order a spy?

We've got a 49673849 on the 297472 in sardine. I suggest 3957 takes it up at Red and Hothorse, you read?

Well, do you?

Hello?

*throws jedi-communicator walkie-talkie on ground, frustrated*. We'll NEVER get to play James Bond if no one has thier walkietalkies on!!! *Stomps out*

er........

"Mazzsst shizizissiticzzstsss covrstszzs in my Zrssst?

Hezzzsstso?

Anypffzt out thzzzsft?"

Oh crap, static!