h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Sometimes the smoldering love eel wears a rash, but sometimes the
moldering dove heel dares to crash. Sometimes the sick rose gets better, sometimes a person writes a letter. Sometimes bad kissers are sore from cads' blisters; they need some time to reach their prime.
Oh pet a kind me, she sang to the wind, but the wind responsed, ardor has thinned: he swims, restless merman, toward novelties German. He's free to choose the types he woos! But good friends came to sorry ends. Some recipes can spell disaster; she ran away, and he ran faster. Banished from Eden, she traveled to Sweden. Willows blew and billows grew. But life abhors such needless wars. She has a remedy he'll appreciate; she's hatched a plan, if it's not too late. Goal: make a cake with big fresh eggs. Run, on muscular quick legs, past burning towers and wilted flowers. Sprinkle well with bits of shell. Put the fights on strange May nights behind you, and then press rewind to better days (this author prays). Add some yeast and kill the beast. Take the cake out of the oven; put the battered boxing glove in someone's attic; be dramatic. Suddenly things smell so sweet! Strife's over. Now sit down and eat.