The Bradford Broccoli -2003
Created | Updated Oct 8, 2003
Bradford is a place with a bad reputation. Mention its name, and people who've never visited tend to imagine somewhere singularly grimy and grim.
Even so, I felt confident in inviting my friends from h2g2's northern English Researchers' group, The Flat Cap and Muffler Sports and Social Club (Affiliated), to Bradford for a meet. My home city certainly has its problems, but it also has two very big things in its favour. One is the marvellous NMPFT - The National Museum of Photography, Film and Television. The other is some of the best curry you'll ever taste anywhere. I was confident that a day involving both these things would surely be pretty good.
Flat Cap and Muffler meets are traditionally named after vegetables, ever since one of our number began calling our first Spring Outing 'The Spring Onion'. For the sake of alliteration, the Bradford event simply had to be The Bradford Broccoli.
One or two prospective participants disappointingly dropped out in the week before the meet. However, two of those who did make it travelled impressively long distances to do so. GreyDesk came all the way from Brighton, and 2Legs travelled up from Cambridge. In all, eight of us gathered in the Queen pub next to Bradford Interchange rail and bus station for the beginning of the meet: myself, GreyDesk, 2Legs, TIMELORD, Phil, Metal Chicken, Amy the Ant and Bagpuss. When everyone had arrived and the first drink of the day had been downed, we made our way to the NMPFT.
The National Museum of Photography, Film and Television is a multi-levelled delight, both literally and metaphorically. Go downstairs from its foyer and you come to a fascinating exhibition that traces the development of photography from the earliest camera obscura to the latest in digital technology. On the upper floors are exhibits that explain how some film and TV special effects are done, and tell the story of the development of different forms of electronic media. I was particularly fascinated by a display demonstrating how photographs can be digitally 'doctored' to produce a misleading impression. Truly, you shouldn't believe what you see in the papers.
The 'blue screen' special effect technique is demonstrated at the NMPFT by means of an exhibit in which a visitor can climb on board a 'magic carpet' on the floor and be seen on screens apparently flying high in the air. Metal Chicken tried this out, but as she was wearing blue jeans, the 'blue screening' produced the disturbing illusion that her legs were disintegrating.
Having enjoyed a freestyle wander around the Museum's exhibits, shop, cafe and bar, we reconvened at 3pm for one of the main events on our agenda. The NMPFT contains a marvellous resource called TV Heaven: an archive of tapes of all kinds of old TV shows. These can be viewed either in small booths or in a larger viewing room suitable for group bookings. I'd booked the viewing room - and can you guess which TV show I'd asked to see first?
The TV Heaven attendant apologised for the poor quality of their copy of the opening episode of The Hitch-Hiker's Guide To The Galaxy. Apparently the NMPFT has been trying to get a better copy out of the BBC for ages without success - so if anyone from the relevant Beeb department is reading, please go to to it. The tape had some serious interference on vision, and ended a couple of minutes early. Still, the classic comedy of Arthur Dent and Ford Prefect's departure from Earth and arrival on the Vogon ship shone through. We also watched an old episode of another fondly-remembered bit of British TV sci-fi: Blake's 7. Ah, what magnificent dialogue. Truly, they don't write 'em like that any more.
After another quick wander around the Museum, we gathered again to visit the NMPFT's IMAX cinema. We were going to see Bugs! 3D, an epic tale of ambition, sex and murder in the lives of insects. The 3D effects were amazing - it really did look as though the film's tiny protagonists were passing right in front of us. Children in the audience could be seen trying to catch the butterflies that seemed to flutter out of the huge IMAX screen towards us. Amy the Ant particularly enjoyed a brief cameo appearance in the film by some leaf-cutter ants.
Amy and TIMELORD said goodbye after the film, and the rest of us made our way to Omar's, which has gained a richly-deserved reputation as one of the very best of Bradford's many curry restaurants. Bagpuss bravely resisted peer pressure and opted for an omelette, but the rest of us got stuck into the spicy stuff and loved it.
Between the six of us, we just about managed to finish one of Omar's specialities: the huge 'family naan'. These giant naans are about three feet long, and more like a sort of bread tablecloth than something to be eaten. It took two Researchers to hold it up so photos could be taken. Perhaps, though, the most remarkable thing about the Omar's family naan is that it is actually very nice to eat as well as being awe-inspiringly huge, with a pleasing variety of fluffy bits and crunchy bits in its generous expanse. We were very well fed very economically; the bill for all six of us came to just £38, and that included both our monster naan and some jugs of lassi that were declared to be delicious.
The final item on the agenda was beer and a quiz. The former was provided by a very nice city centre pub called The Old Bank. I set the quiz, and with hindsight perhaps I made it a little on the tough side; but the five contestants performed heroically, showing some commendable imagination when stumped. I included a section about records, films and TV shows with 'North' in their titles, and was a little surprised that one of our Researchers thought that the singer-songwriter who'd twice recorded a song called 'Girl From The North Country' during the 1960s was Cilla Black. (It was actally Bob Dylan.) In the end, a score of 16 out of 30 was enough to make Phil the winner of the first prize kindly provided by the h2g2 Editors: a new h2g2 T-shirt. He was so excited that he ran off to the Gents to don it immediately, and very nice it looked too.
Finally Bagpuss left to catch his train, and rest of us went back to the hotel in which the long-distance travellers were staying to chat and drink into the night. In the finest traditions of h2g2 Researchers, we only stopped when they closed the bar. It had been a long, lively day, enjoyed by all who took part.
