Swiv's Idea of a University
Created | Updated Oct 8, 2003
Swiv's Idea of a University
'Here we are again, happy as can be.
And I suddenly can't remember what film someone sings that very daftly in, but I have a sneaking
suspicion it would be quite cheery to watch it. If anyone knows, please yell – cheery films are going
to need to be the order of the day. Either that or they've got to have a lot of very good action in
them to be completely distracting.
Actually I am quite happy to be back up here, it's just that I happen to have a stinking headache,
have spent the day in the library reading Cicero's speeches (about two of them, all day) and there's
liable to be a fire alarm at 6am tomorrow morning. A fine time you may think, and indeed I will
hopefully get plenty of sleep before it – but then I shall be rudely awakened, and not have enough
time to drop off and recuperate before I have to get up for breakfast and go back to the library.
Of course, it's all my own daft fault for deciding to write an essay for next week, but alas,
tomorrow is not destined to be the morning for a lie-in anyway, as I have to be trotting around to
change my sheets a wee bit too early.
'But Swiv,' you may say, 'you're an arts student, why all this 'having to be' at specific
times?' Well, it's quite simple, I have returned to Halls of Residence for my last year of
university life. If you read last years 'Ideas' it may not come as a shock to hear that remaining my
old house was not high on the 'how to…' list for final year bliss. Claire, Dave and I would have lived
together again, but Claire, being a medic has gone off to Manchester to do clinical studies, and Dave
flatly refused to live in a girl filled house (and decided his male friends would drive him insane). So
we're both back in Halls, different ones, still haven't been out to see where he lives yet, bad Swiv.
Halls is very nice really: food is cooked for me (not good food, admittedly, but there is a kitchen
on my floor if I get desperate), the heating is paid for, and for a small pile of money I get seriously
fast internet connection for the whole year (and I mean seriously fast – the full screen Return of
the King trailer took about two minutes to download). I also have a room that's not a tiny little 'L'
shaped cupboard in which I can very effectively hide from the world when I want it all to go away.
And it would be nice if it would do that for a little bit. I'm sure I shouldn't be this tired two
weeks into term (doesn't bode well) but I am. In fact I'm currently – at 8pm – snuggled up in my
dressing gown because it makes my headache feel better (well, paracetamol was an abysmal failure).
It's a little bit crowded right now – if you read the Daily Rant (sorry, Mail) you might have
noticed. We always had double rooms for the first years in the older, in-town Halls – never a
problem, everyone knew that they could be in them, and you could specify that you'd like to be a
little out of town if you were desperate to avoid sharing. This year some of the doubles are triple
rooms, some of the common rooms in one of the Halls have become quadruple rooms (and it was the
worst hall anyway), and my own St Regulus (Regs) no longer has a TV room – it is now home to four
first year guys and the TV is in the library (yep, sensible I know). So it's all a bit crazy, but this
year I think it's not because they accepted so many extra people – even St Andrews University
isn't that daft – but so many more people than the statistical norm accepted their offers and then
got the required grades. So I think we should all go and have a good rant at the exam boards, but
the University administration is a slightly easier target.
Anyway – classes – yes, I do have very few of them. I have my standard four hours a week: one
class at 9:45 on a Wednesday morning, and the other at 9am on Fridays. I'm doing very well at
self-pity right now, but I'll get over it – actually I'm most annoyed because it means I'll miss
watching the opening of the Rugby World Cup on Friday…
The one class is called 'British History and Historians of the Twentieth Century' – a
historiography course; very interesting, but a huge reading list, especially of our primary texts, on
which I'll sit a three hour document analysis exam next May. It being next May because it's a year
long course, with the most complicated assessment set-up I've ever come across: two essays, one long
essay which is double the value, a pile of gobbets (document passages) and a presentation on the long
essay which is peer assessed.
The other is 'Late Roman Republic Part II' – basically a follow up to last semester's ancient
history class, which focus' on Cicero and Caesar, and the end of the Republic. This makes it a little
easier to get into – I know where I am with the work and what my tutor wants (apart from blood,
sweat and tears).
Actually, we only have to write two essays this semester – but he's decided he wants us to do
some kind of non-assessed presentation thing, sadist. It's still ‘Make up your own essay title'
season, but I'm sorted for this course. First up is something on whether there really was an
optimate/populares divide in the late Republic, or whether it was all in Cicero's brilliant little head.
I just need to turn that into a direct question. Then, at the end of term I'm going to take the
beloved Professor's standard quote, and write about it, so we shall be having: 'Caesar's assassins
were idiots' Discuss, for a title.
At which point, having done so much work already – and I'm very impressed with myself – I'm
going to go away and read something resolutely non-academic while I still have the time.
