Surreality Rules BlackJack (also known as Bibble)is a card game.

It is the most fun, vocal,exciting, exasperatingly complicated card game, where players move, swap cards and even cease to exist!!

It can be played by 2 or more players. If you have more than 4 players it is advisable to use more than one pack of cards.

The game deals with life in all its shapes and forms and is good fun once you've got the hang of it (A bit like this site really)

It is a good idea to use foreign packs of cards so that the different letters on the picture cards adds to the overall confusion.

All the cards including the jokers (rules for bridge count as jokers too) are shuffled and 7 cards are dealt to each player. The rest of the pack is put face down in the centre of the table and the top card turned over face up next to it.

Play starts clockwise with the player on the left of the dealer starting.

The player looks at the top face up card and must then lay a card on top of it which must be of the same suit or the same number.If they have more than one card with the same number, they may lay any number of these they like as long as the FIRST card laid is the same suit or number as the top card.

If he/she/it doesn't have such a card they must pick up one card from the face-down pile and say "Potted Meat."

If a player can go, they MUST. you are not allowed to pretend you can't go so as to hang on to a card for later.

Play continues in this nice simple fashion until one player is out of cards and they are the winner.

Or at least it would do, if it were not for the complications caused by WORKING CARDS.

These cards are what makes the game fun, exciting, infuriating, liberating etc etc blah blah blah. The biggest problem with working cards is that you may not finish on a working card. To win the game, your last card played must be a non-working card i.e. a 4, 5, red 6, 7, 9, idle red jack or black king.

To make matters worse, when you only have one card left in your hand you must immediately say "Frogspawn", thus alerting everyone else that you are in imminent danger of actually winning and giving them a chance to stop you.

There are many other such utterances in this game and any omission results in an instant 5 card penalty.

If you run out of cards in the face-down pile you leave the top face-up card where it is and shuffle the rest of the pile which then becomes the face down pile.

This list tells you what to say when you lay a card and it tells you what the WORKING CARDS actually do.

If you cannot go, you must pick up one card from the pile and say "Potted Meat"

If for any reason (including forgetting to say something you were supposed to)you have to pick up more than one card, you must say "Veeblefetzer"

When you have just one card in your hand, you must say "Frogspawn"

ACE This allows you to change suit. When you lay it, you must say "Smoke me a kipper, I'll be back for [SUIT]." If the Ace is not the top card, you substitute the name of a suit with the word "Breakfast".

TWO If you lay a two, the next player must either pick up two cards for each two laid or lay another two or blackjack on top, thus passing the problem on to someone else. When you lay a two you must say "Bibble [SUITWORD] Doodyflipper" the SUITWORD is a specific word for each suit: Spades is "Diggy",Hearts is "Love" Diamonds is "Sparkly" and Clubs is "Choccy".

THREE If you lay a three, you give three cards away to the person next to you. You pass to the left if the three is red, and to the right if Black. When you lay the card you say "Bibble Trevor Austin"

FOUR You say "Mashie-Niblick." It is not a working card.

FIVE You say "Monkey Nuts." It is not a working card.

RED SIX you say the next line of the Prisoner Speech. It is not a working card.

The Prisoner Speech goes: "We want information, information, information." "You won't get it." "By hook or by crook we will." "Who are you?" "The new number two." "Who is number one?" "You are number six" "I am not a number, I am a free man!!" "Ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!".

BLACK SIX You say "Happy Birthday" and all players must pass their entire hand to the person next to them in the opposite direction to the play. NOTE FOR LEPERS OR PEOPLE WITH PROSTHETIC LIMBS: Hand refers to the hand of cards.

SEVEN You say "Sayonara." It is not a working card.

EIGHT You say "Bibble Trotsky who?" and the next person must either lay another eight on top or say "Fish" for each eight already laid and then promptly winks out of existence for one turn for each fish laid.

NOTE It has always been thought of as bad form to consort with people who don't exist. So you must not talk to or about a player who does not exist and you cannot give them any cards or make them move.

The only thing that the non-existent player can do, although no-one must acknowledge it is, when it would have been their go, had they existed, which they don't so I shouldn't have mentioned it really,is to say "Fish" for each turn they will continue not to exist for.

NINE you must say "Jawohl mein Fuhrer" It is not a working card.

TEN You must say "Look!! The Goodyear Blimp!!" and you may then lay any other cards of the same suit on top that you wish, saying the utterances as necessary. only the top card(s) count. If you have no other cards of the same suit, you must pick up one card and say "Potted Meat"

For example, if I have the ten of clubs, all the hearts and all the eights I can lay the ten of hearts, all the clubs with the eight on top followed by the other eights and say "Look the Goodyear Blimp, Look, the Goodyear Blimp, Smoke me a kipper, I'll be back for breakfast, bibble love doodyflipper, bibble Trevor Austin, Mashie-niblick, Monkey Nuts, I am not a number, I am a free man, Sayonara, Jawohl mein fuhrer, hey relax man like chill out dude,scaramouche, scaramouche will you do the fandango? Leeroy Snood,bibble Trotsky who? Bibble Trotsky who? Bibble Trotsky who? Bibble Trotsky Who?" and the next player says "FishFishFishFish" and winks out of existence for four turns.

BLACKJACK The black jack is a nasty, evil card who wants to fill your hand with unwanted cards. when you lay one, you must say "Bibble" and all the other players must say "B*****d!!" (Or bounder or cad if they are too polite to swear).

The next player must either lay a two, another BlackJack or a red jack or must pick up 5 cards for each eye showing on the jack (always pick packs where they have two eyes showing, it's more fun)

RED JACK This is a lazy, laid back kind of card that only works when it has to.When called into service,you say "Bibble DRATSAB" and it cancels out the evil power of the BlackJack and the two.

If a combination of people has left you with all the twos and both Two-eyed BlackJacks showing you have to pick up 28!! cards unless you have a Red Jack, so it can be a very useful card.

At other times it is a non-working card and you say "Hey relax man, like chill out dude". A Jack may be laid on any card and any card may be laid on a jack. Because of this, A RED JACK is the best card to keep until last, as you can lay it on any card to finish.

QUEEN this changes direction of play. Play starts clockwise, so laying the first queen will make play go anti-clockwise.

When you lay a queen you must sing the next line of Bohemian Rhapsody. With successive games in the same sitting, this should be continued through the song. If you don't know the song or the next line, you are permitted to use the fallback phrase "Scaramouche, Scaramouche will you do the Fandango?"

KING You must say "Leeroy Snood." Only a red king is a working card.

When you lay one, you pick two people who must leave their cards where they are and swap places. If you lay two red kings together, you pick three people.

You are permitted to be one of these people but you may not move people who don't exist.

JOKER This fun loving card is all out to create mischief. When you lay this card you say "Hoopyfrood" and you may then give away any number of cards you like to any player/players you like as long as they are all the same colour (The cards that is, not the players)

Obviously this card may be laid on any card and any card may be laid on top of it.

SWEETLEAF If two jokers get together they form a sweetleaf, a very depressing state.

If someone has just laid their last card, and it's not a working card and they remembered to say "Frogspawn" the previous go, THEY HAVE WON THE GAME!!!

Unless that is, you have a SWEETLEAF in your hand.

Upon the other player seeming to win the game you let them triumph for a few sweet but all too brief seconds before discreetly attracting their attention, then laying both jokers at the same time saying "Sweetleaf" and the player will then look crestfallen, their hopes dashed, and they must then pick up 5 cards and stay in the game. (not forgetting to say "Veeblefetzer" of course).

A Sweetleaf may be laid by a player who does not exist.In fact, the act of laying the Sweetleaf hurtles them out from the whirling vortex of nothingness and back into existence.

TOTAL HATSTAND In the unlikely event of three jokers getting together (which is where multiple packs and bridge rules come in) their sense of fun is multiplied a thousandfold.

The player laying this says "TOTAL HATSTAND" and they may then move any of the players' cards (including those belonging to people who don't exist)anywhere they like (although they must not look at them.

Once they have finished moving all the cards about, they may then move all the people about (again including those who don't exist. If you get moved into the space of someone who doesn't exist, it is now you who does not exist.

This brief bout of insanity over the game continues as normal.

Obviously it takes time time to become familiar with all the rules, but it is well worth it.