h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Entry: Thomas John Barnardo 1845 - 1905 Philanthropist - A12254979
Author: Mckay the Disorganised - Luddite - Lost in SHADOW - Is John Catt a terrorist ? - U200618

This is probably complete enough for now.

Let me have your comments.

sorry but I have to go out and I want to read this when I return (this was the first charity I ever supported, I had a little house-box which I put pennies in)

Such a sad yet uplifting story, I recall his story being read to us during assembly one day by a representative of the charity and those interested were given a box which said "Dr Barnardo's Home" in order to save loose change. They used to come to my parents' home every 6-months or so to remove the base and empty the contents and give me a receipt. I can recall visitors to our house tipping their loose change in.


You have some double-quote marks, only single are allowed.
Your blockquotes should also have tags.
You need some tags so lines of text aren't sitting on the Headers.
Some of your footnotes appear in the text after the punctuation, they need to be before and right up next to the word they are connecting to, so there's no gap. Also the footnotes need to be complete sentences - some are just a couple of words long and could be in the text in brackets or after a comma, but this one:
As an MP Shaftesbury had been involved in child causes for some 44 years by this time. Amongst other things he was largely responsible for the factories act (1833) and the coal mines act (1840). (footnote 7) here:
He made a speech at that year's missionary Conference, and gained the support of 7th Lord Shaftesbury.7 and the banker Robert Barclay. In 1868 he opened his first institution.

I would suggest a little tweak:
He made a speech at that year's missionary Conference, and gained the support of the banker Robert Barclay and the 7th Lord Shaftesbury. As an MP Shaftesbury had been involved in child causes for some 44 years by this time. Amongst other things he was largely responsible for the Factories Act (1833) and the Coal Mines Act (1840).
Then you can start your next section with: "In 1868 he opened his first institution."

A few spelling errors & typos:

and failing to provide provide religous or moral training
=
and failing to provide religious or moral training

These sold in packs of 20 for 5 shillings (footnote 11 could be incorporated here) and had title like 'Once a little vagrant, now a little workman.'
= These *were* sold in packs of 20 for five shillings (25p) and had title*s* like 'Once a little vagrant, now a little workman.'

Here is an extract from his records on one child. admitted July 26th 1875.
=
Here is an extract from his records on one child, admitted 26 July, 1875.


Dr. should be Dr


Links:
Jack the Ripper: A704567

Tough one for me to read, this, thanks Mckay - there are other typos but I have to leave the pc and don't want to lose this posting.

Fantastic entry BTW and one I always wanted to write but am far too emotionally attached. *gulp*

Typos:
Viginia, USA = Virginia, USA

Emmigration = Emigration

religous = religious

mal-treating = maltreating

contovery = controversy

Sunday scholl = school

London Council condemmed it, sa
=
London Council condemned it, as

canalside wharehouse = canal-side warehouse

prostitues = prostitutes (twice)

viscious = vicious

mixeed age = mixed

accomodation for young girls = accommodation for young girls

allegedley = allegedly

He had climbed into a barrell. Barardo
=
He had climbed into a barrel. Barnardo

seperate = separate

seperating = separating

chimmneys = chimneys

visted = visited

Grammer School = Grammar School

Some of your spellings for Barnardo are different to that spelling

Thanks GB - I was rushing to get it finished at the end, before I had to go home.

I'll get onto all these on Saturday, frankly I'm embarassed - shows how much I've started to rely on spell checkers. (and how bad my typing is.)

I had one of those little house too - I seem to recall I got a little badge after I'd kept it for 5 years.

Yes, that's right, I got 2 badges 'cos I gave to them for ten years.

I think the first was metal, and the second was a sew-on patch.

Don't be embarrased, it's extremely difficult to proof-read your own work (don't I know)

On the evening of 19 September 1905 he settled down by hife
=
his wife

children'c charity
=
children's


Another link for you: Barnardo's website: http://www.barnardos.org.uk/

OK - I think I've tidied up all those errors.

I've also introduced some consistency into my spelling of Barnardo

I've added a bit about the work of Barnardo's today, though I don't want to say too much about that in this entry.

Hi again Mckay

You need to put the text into text tags to separate the text from Headers.

The footnotes should be complete sentences, and where possible be incorporated into the text, eg: five shillings (25p) and "a furrier, and his English second wife Abigail"

<>
=
Barnardo

diptheria = diphtheria

Barnado took lodgings
=
Barnardo took lodgings

condemmed = condemned

Royal Colledge = College

religous = religious

Reailistically = Realistically

The first quote needs to be in tags

<>
I think that should be "lame"

<> - Two hundred people

Here is an extract from his records on one child. admitted 26 July 1875.
=
Here is an extract from his records on one child, admitted 26 July, 1875.

great entry Mckay

Thanks again GB.

I've reduced the number of footnotes, and I think I've now got all my tags in.

Did you mind me giving you all those corrections?

No I was embarassed there were so many, but I'm quite happy to have my mistakes corrected.

I suppose I might not have reacted so well if it had been criticism of something I said, because I do research, or my writing style, but even then I'm quite comfortable really - I know I can impart information in a readable style.

In fact can I ask you to have a look at A1186188 which is also in Peer Review.

British Social reformer , pioneering in the care of destitute children, founder of the East End Juvenile mission in London.With the aid of the seventh earl of Shaftesbury he opened the first of his Dr Barnardo homes presently over 100 in Britain, canada, and Austrailia.He was instrumental in securing the passage of parliamentary legislation for child welfare.

I cover all that in entry flyingtwinkle, did you mean to add more ?

Sorry GB - that should have been A11861228

Good work, Mckay! I'd heard of the children's home but knew nothing about its founder, and it certainly makes an interesting story.

Somehow, I doubt that the Eds. will let you keep Footnote 2, although it made me smile. Beyond that, I'm not sure if this typo has yet been pointed out: under the 'Emigration' subheader, you say: 'Barnardo devised a scheme to sent children to Canada', and that 'sent' needs to become a 'send'.

Other than that, great stuff!

Thanks Ormy - I've corrected that.

Can't think what you mean about footnote 2

hehe - you're right about fotnote two, though it did raise a giggle here.

But just for you, we can leave it in the unedited version if you like, so it has a little extra treat. meanwhile, we have this big brass 'accept' lever to pull...

Your Guide Entry has just been picked from Peer Review by one of our Scouts, and is now heading off into the Editorial Process, which ends with publication in the Edited Guide. We've therefore moved this Review Conversation out of Peer Review and to the entry itself.

If you'd like to know what happens now, check out the page on 'What Happens after your Entry has been Recommended?' at EditedGuide-Process. We hope this explains everything.

Thanks for contributing to the Edited Guide!

Congrats Mckay

Yay! McKay!!