The Historic Legacy of Michael Flatery's Blue Blouse
Created | Updated Jun 1, 2006
A week of firsts I think you'll agree. Munster finally won that god damn cup which resulted in massive amounts of liver damage due to, quite simply, a nationwide binge. A new country has been formed to join the community of Nations, Montenegro. But I think you'll agree with me the most amazing first of the past few days and weeks is... Lordi.
Incase you don't know, Finland won the Eurovision. Finland took a chance. After losing 40 times in a row, you can't lose anything at all, everything else has been taken... even the stuff bolted to the floor, but they've had 40 years to work on them. So, you get the feeling, Finland got pissed off and voted to be represented in front of several million people by a Death Metal band called Lordi...
who subsequently ran away with it. Lordi walked up to the half-naked women singing songs that would have been hip to the beat in the late 90's, annoying eastern European posers who look like the the rejects from the fronts to Westlifes fronts, the brain achingly HHRRRGGHH!!! dance songs and Malta1 and they punched them in the face and ran screaming Hard Rock Hallelujah past the finish line. But who cares. Right. I mean its the Eurovision. Everyone just votes for their neighbours... right?
Finland won... Finland. Sweden, Russia, Norway and maybe Denmark could be counted as neighbours. Yet it wasn't even close. They ran away with it. A Death Metal band made up of people who looked like extras turned away from the set of Buffy the Vampire for being 'a little too scary there folks'. It took them three hours to get into wardrobe. Three hours! Most of the female singers looked like they put on a very skimpy dress, then repeatedly fell through a very thorny bush, which subsequently ripped large amounts of the afore mentioned dress off, before they stumbled out onto the stage. They did hard rock after a song that I can't even remember for being so dull. About flippin' time as well.
You're wondering. 'LeRue you seem to be a hip to the beat cool cat. Why were you watching the Eurovision?' I was sick, it was either that or CSI Artic Circle... That's my story and I'm sticking to it!
Yet most people in Ireland care about the Eurovision simply because we have won it a lot. It was the only international competition we were any good at for goodness sake. And we can still remember when we were giants. Michael Flately's heaving baby oil chest, 'The Voice', 'We were the Rock n' Roll Kids' and Ronan Keatings' hair in '96, all still in the memory of the 17-25 year olds today... and to some extent we care. We didn't like the way it was heading... euro dance anthems and annoying modern ballads.
That's why I say. ROCK ON LORDI!!!!!!!
*Does Gene Simmons from Kiss style of tongue thingy*
Except now I have a strange feeling we're goin' to be seeing a lot more rock bands next year... still... I'll always have Michael Flately's blue blouse.
